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TABLE OF CONTENTS

H.A.G. SUMMER: OYSTER NIGHT AT ROAWAN & SANDWICHES FROM FINEST

BIG WIENER PARTY: HOT DOGS FOR MENTAL HEALTH

BE A HERO!

UNFUN FOOD FACT

H.A.G. SUMMER

ART & OYSTERS

My wife, the great and powerful Dawn Roe, is currently doing an artist’s residency at Lamplight AVL in West Asheville that she’s titled H.A.G. (Hydrofeminist Action Generator), so go check it out if you can! And while you’re there in WAVL check out Rowan Coffee on Haywood Road. It’s so awesome we hit it up twice in one day!

First we had coffee and pastries in the afternoon. The coffee was smooth and delicious, and the pastries were from French Broad Pastry, so you know they were incredible.

Later in the day, we went back for oyster night! So yummy. So briny. So good. So yeah, the food and beverages at Rowan on Haywood Road in West Asheville are great, the service is friendly, and the atmosphere is really really nice. Like, really nice. Highly recommended.

I ❤️ WNC

As part of her H.A.G. residency at Lamplight AVL, Dawn led an outdoor photo workshop in West Asheville Park on a super pleasant, perfect WNC afternoon, and some really great people showed up, including friends & strangers from both art world and F&B world!

We all learned about the restoration and community naming of Rhododendron Creek from the stewardship coordinator at RiverLink and then we made a bunch of very cool site-responsive photos using light sensitive paper, creek water, and things that we found in and around the creek.

Of course, being in West Asheville, we wanted some great food, so we went to Finest - Deli, Dining, Drinks and got 2 veggie subs to bring with us to the park. Dawn had the eggplant sub and I had the mushroom chopped cheese. We didn’t go veggie for any particular reason, but we were both glad we did! We devoured both sandwiches like two very hungry people. So good.

All of the prints that we made together that day will be on display at Dawn’s open house / closing event at Lamplight on Saturday June 6th from 1-7pm. I hope you can make it! Finest Deli is right across the street from Lamplight, so hit them up before or after you come look at art!

CHARITY EVENT

🌭 BIG WIENERS ARE BACK! 🌭

12:00 PM-7:00 PM Big Wiener Party at Bear’s Smokehouse BBQ!

9 TEAMS. 2,500 HOT DOGS. 1 ROYAL WIENER.

“Get ready for Asheville’s most outrageous (and delicious) summer event—The Big Wiener Party is back and bigger than ever!

This one-of-a-kind hot dog topping competition returns to the South Slope with even more flavor, more laughs, and now featuring a pre-party and activations at Asheville Sports Club alongside the main event at Bear’s Smokehouse BBQ.

Nine local teams will go head-to-head, each transforming 2500 hot dogs into wild, over-the-top creations in pursuit of the ultimate title: The Big Wiener!”

LEARN MORE HERE

The goal of this event is to raise $10,000 for Linked4Life, which supports mental health care for Food and Beverage industry workers.

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DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE BEING A HERO TODAY?

$1,800 is all it takes to move one of our elderly neighbors from the waitlist to the active delivery list for Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co., Inc. Maybe you can donate a little, maybe you can donate a lot, maybe you can cover the whole $1,800! Anything you can do is super helpful and shows that you care about the folks in our community who need it most! ❤ If you’re unable to donate, heroes also come in the form of volunteers!

DONATE / VOLUNTEER

THANKS, NATURE

UNFUN FOOD FACT: 90% of all poison-mushroom-related deaths worldwide are caused by consumption of a specific kind of mushroom called a “death cap.” So… why would anyone eat something that literally has the word “death” right in its name? Oh, people eat ‘em on purpose, but also totally by accident. Because Mother Nature made death cap mushrooms look almost identical to other delicious edible mushrooms, and apparently they even smell and taste real good, just like edible mushrooms, and hang on, it gets even better: The toxins are “thermo-stable” and can’t be cooked out. So, in short, people — amateur foragers and what-not — go out and pick these things thinking that they’re picking edible paddy-straw or field mushrooms, then they bring them home and cook them and eat them… and then they FUCKING DIE.

LESSON: Nature will try to kill us at every opportunity, and she’s crafty AF, so be careful out there, fungus fans, and maybe leave the foraging up to a trusted professional.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

RESTAURANT RECOMMENDATION: LEV & LULU’S IN WEAVERVILLE

FEATURED PIZZA: OUR NEIGHBORHOOD JAM

POT/PIE TOUR: 2 OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

CONTEST WINNER!

BE A HERO!

UNFUN FOOD FACT

A TRIP TO WEAVERVILLE

NEW! LEV & LULU’S

Paddy and I were invited out to Weaverville by the folks who run an exciting new restaurant there called Lev & Lulu’s, so we got into the Paddy Wagon and took a short drive to the very cute and fun downtown area. I hadn’t been to Weaverville in a while. I really like it there. When we first moved to the area my family would make a special trip to Weaverville just to get the legendary Mountain Eclair from Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe. Shout out to that eclair. Still available. 😜 Anyhoo, after some initial confusion and looking like two tourists, we received some advice (if not exactly explicit directions) from a local, and eventually found Lev & Lulu’s! Inside we met up with Brook, the person who had invited us, and she joined us for brunch. We also met the chef/owner Reid for a few minutes (he was busy), as well as a few members of his staff, who were all very nice! The menu was impressive and it was hard to decide what to order, because it all sounded so good.

I went with my heart and ordered the English breakfast, because A: I love English Breakfasts and B: English Breakfasts are a little hard to find around here. (Please let me know about other English Breakfast options in WNC in the comments section.) Boy howdy, I was very happy with my choice! Everything on my plate was perfectly cooked and totally delicious and I crushed every bite but a potato or two. It was exactly what I wanted and it hit all the right buttons and I was very full and satisfied. Paddy got corned beef hash, and left naught but a wee bite behind himself, so I guess he liked his too. The whole experience was highly enjoyable!

Brook was a pleasure to chat with, our server, Danielle was great, Chef Reid was friendly and seemed really happy to have a dining room full of customers. We also met a person named Faith, I think she’s a server, she was also very nice and was apparently the person who steered Brook towards me in the first place, so thanks, Faith! I can’t wait to go back to Lev & Lulu’s to eat more food from from their very appealing menu! The coffee was French-press style BTW, and it was excellent. This is the kind of place that, if it was in my neighborhood, I’d be there all the time. For real.

FYI - The name comes from Reid’s two dogs. Brook sent me this picture of them.

FEATURED PIZZA

OUR NEIGHBORHOOD JAM

In the year-long lead-up to WNC PIZZA WEEK 2027, I’ll be featuring pizzas as much as possible in my posts. Which is normal for me anyways, so yay, no extra work! Especially when the featured pizza is from All Souls Pizza on Clingman Ave in the RAD, which is our neighborhood jam and one of our all-time favorite places. We started going when they first opened and it’s been a consistently excellent part of our pizza lives ever since.

The Exec Chef and Co-owner Brendan Reusing is not only making great pizza, but also fabulous sides, salads and mains. Dawn and I almost always default to the hot honey and pepperoni pizza with banana peppers, and last time we went we also got a big bowl of very tasty and comforting broccoli soup with giant croutons and some very savory and delicious asparagus. Both were excellent, and made from local farm fresh ingredients! The staff there is also top notch and have been there a long time now. I’m sure that I’ve already recommended All Souls a hundred times or more online, and I’m not likely to stop anytime soon. We love it! If you haven’t been or haven’t been in a while, get in and get eatin’! It’s all good. Plus, I just realized that even Chef Reusing’s name is sustainable. 🤔

SPEAKING OF PIZZA

POT/PIE TOUR

Also as part of the year-round celebration leading up to WNC PIZZA WEEK 2027, I’ve scheduled 5 “POT/PIE” tours starting in August. These tours will combine my love of pizza, with my love of weed, and I’m gonna try to raise a little money for Meals on Wheels while I’m at it.

Event Timing: Saturday, August 15, 2026, 1pm - 4pm
Meeting Address: Soprana Rooftop Cucina, 6th floor, Embassy Suites Hotel
Guide: Stu Helm!
Tickets: $100 each - 10% of all ticket sales is donated directly to Meals On Wheels.

RESERVE YOUR TICKETS

If you’ve been on one of my infamous “Weed Tours,” you already know what’s up. If you haven’t, then come find out!

You can see the other tours I offer, and my tour schedule on my BLOG. That’s right, I said, “blog.” People don’t really say that anymore, but I’m saying it.

Blog.

SUBSCRIBE & WIN

This is a reader-supported publication, written entirely without the use of AI, and containing no AI generated images. Fuck AI. Please support real people. Please subscribe!

Every month, all paid subscribers will be entered into a contest to win a $50 gift certificate from my friends at Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville! If you already subscribe, you’re already entered! If not, simply subscribe to be eligible!

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🎉 WE HAVE A WINNER! 🎉

Congrats to Mary F! Mary has been a paid subscriber since October of 2025, and her name was randomly selected from among all of my paid subscribers as the winner of the monthly contest! Mary gets a $50 gift card to Twisted Laurel. Mary will still be eligible to win again next month, and every month, as will every paid subscriber! For $30 a year, you could potentially win $50 a month. Thanks, Mary!

DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE BEING A HERO TODAY?

$1,800 is all it takes to move one of our elderly neighbors from the waitlist to the active delivery list for Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co., Inc. Maybe you can donate a little, maybe you can donate a lot, maybe you can cover the whole $1,800! Anything you can do is super helpful and shows that you care about the folks in our community who need it most! ❤ If you’re unable to donate, heroes also come in the form of volunteers!

DONATE / VOLUNTEER

IT’S A GOOD THING, RIGHT?

UNFUN FOOD FACT: Wehhhlll… I guess the good news is that the country of South Korea has been phasing out the commercial breeding and sale of dogs for human consumption in preparation for a national legal ban that takes effect in early 2027. The government is compensating farmers, closing down farms, and setting up rehoming efforts for nearly half a million dogs. Atsalotta dogs. Want one? The button below is real and takes you to a reputable adoption agency…

ADOPT A SOUTH KOREAN DOG

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TRAVEL BLOG

BEAUFORT, NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH BEAUFORT

On our drive home from Winter Park Florida, we stopped in Beaufort, SC for an overnight stay. Beaufort seems to be pronounced “byoo-ferd,” which was hard for me to remember because up here in NC we have a Beaufort too, but as far as I know it’s pronounced “bow-fort,” so I said it wrong the whole time and got corrected *every* time. Sorry, Beaufort! 😬 Anyhoo, we didn’t stay as long or see as much of beautiful Beaufort as we probably should have, but what we saw and ate was lovely, and we enjoyed it all very much! Here are some specific recommendations if you ever find yourself stopping in and or passing through Beaufort, South Carolina...

STAY AT the excellent and historic 607 Bay Inn Downtown Beaufort. Our room was very clean & comfortable, and the amenities were great. Chocolate at check in, free coffee and snacks, plus vouchers for breakfast at two local, very walkable options in the morning. We met the owner, Chris, and he was really nice and down to earth.

EAT CRAB at Panini’s on the Waterfront. It was recommended to us by a local for crabby things and waterfront breezes. Both were great. We ordered she-crab soup (above) and crab cake salad (below). When the soup arrived I said to Dawn, “This is the soup.” Yup.

DRINK & DO KARAOKE at Luther’s Rare & Well Done. We stopped in on a Tuesday night and the place was *rockin’* with what appeared to be a very familiar group of locals, who belted out some awesome karaoke while we were there. The atmosphere was loud & friendly and I’m so glad we popped in before retiring back to the inn.

EAT BREAKFAST at Lowcountry Produce Market and Cafe. In the morning we went to this very cute and contemporary cafe where I got crab cakes eggs Benedict on grot cakes (above), and Dawn got an omelette with a side of fruit and a biscuit (below). Oh. Hell. Yes. All great! Biscuit lovers take note: They make a note-worthy biscuit. Super high recommends.

BUY BAGELS at Rain -N- Bagels. This was one of our breakfast voucher options, so we got some bagels to bring home. All I can say is: Great bagels! Very NYC style. Beaufort, SC is lucky to have you, Rain-N-Bagels. Not every town has bagels, let alone good bagels, let alone great bagels!

SEE CRITTERS at Cypress Wetlands Port Royal SC. On your way out of Beaufort be sure to stop at the bird sanctuary in Port Royal. There you will see birds aplenty, my friends. So many birds. As well as turtles and to my childlike delight, alotta gators! They’re so effin cool. If I could choose to come back as any other animal on planet earth I think I would choose to be an alligator. Closely followed by turtle. Anyhoo, this place was awesome, don’t miss it.

GET COFFEE at Carolina Cider Company & Clockwise Coffee in Yemassee, SC. We needed some go-go juice for the next leg of our ride, so we popped into this roadside shop and coffee stand and it was one of the cutest cafes I’ve ever been to. They made us two perfect espresso drinks which we enjoyed at the picnic tables. Then we used their very clean restroom and got back on the road.

EAT FISH at Blue Ocean Seafood Restaurant in Clinton, SC. Before we left the Southern part of the Carolinas, we wanted some more fish, so we stopped into this classic family style restaurant where we got some really nice grilled fish with very tasty hushpuppies and sides. It wasn’t fancy, but it was exactly what we wanted right when we wanted it and I recommend it highly!

And then we drove home to Asheville, got on the bouch, and watched playoff hockey. It’s always fun to do a little road trippin’ together and visit other cities, but there ain’t no place like home, that’s for sure!

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Stu Helm: Food Fan is a reader-supported publication. Please subscribe!

Every month, all paid subscribers will be entered into a contest to win a $50 gift certificate from my friends at Twisted Laurel Downtown Ashevillel! If you already subscribe, you’re already entered! If not, simply subscribe to be eligible!

Subscribe now

DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE BEING A HERO TODAY?

$1,800 is all it takes to move one of our elderly neighbors from the waitlist to the active delivery list for Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co., Inc. Maybe you can donate a little, maybe you can donate a lot, maybe you can cover the whole $1,800! Anything you can do is super helpful and shows that you care about the folks in our community who need it most! ❤ If you’re unable to donate, heroes also come in the form of volunteers!

DONATE / VOLUNTEER

UNEVEN STATS

UNFUN FOOD FACT: In 2025 Americans ate an estimated 15-20,000 alligators, while alligators typically eat 1 or 2 Americans every year. Each! Just kidding. It’s just 1 or 2 people total. But be careful out there, Y’all. They’ll getcha!

This post may contain swears, as well as typos & exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

Before anything else, I have to make a correction. The trout & risotto dish from Blackbird is on the menu, and it was created by Chef/Owner Mike Reppert. Chef Sky Walker (real name) is the person who executed the dish 27 times over for our food tour and knocked it out of the park and she wanted me to make sure that y’all know that it wasn’t her creation. Chefs are humble people. Anyhoo… more food…

FANCY LUNCH, BRUNCH & DINNER

PROPER BITES

If you haven’t been to Asheville Proper for brunch, lunch or dinner, I highly recommend it! They’re one of our newest restaurant partners at Asheville Food Tours and they’ve been really knocking it out of the park for our tour patrons, by bringing them three little amuse-bouche style bites each.

Each little bite is representative of a dish from their menu, and contains all the elements, flavors and textures of the whole dish in just one or two bites. The tour patrons always love it, and I’ve also been super impressed with everything they’ve served us on the tours, as well as with the lunch-sized dishes that Paddy, Sarah and I have tried on our company junkets.

Great food. Great staff. Very talented people. Lovely atmosphere. Treat yourself to The Asheville Proper for a fancy lunch, brunch or dinner if you can! 🙂

LARGE COOKIES = ❤

MAKING FRIENDS AT WORK

One way to make friends at work is to share a giant-ass cookie that somebody gave you with your coworkers. The folks from Mary’s Mountain Cookies texted me to let me know that they had set aside one of their brand new cookies for me, called “Summer Berry Cheesecake.” They included a picture.

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes.”

It was waiting for me in a box when I arrived, so I took it to Rhubarb where I was scheduled to work, and I cut it into 6 pieces to offer up during the shift meal. I ate a piece and left the rest for the next 5 fastest people have at it. Maaaan, it was a great cookie. I loved it. It’s one of their soft, “cakey” style cookies, with cream cheese frosting. My manager compared it to a muffin, and she was right, it’s almost exactly like a muffin top! Everyone who got a piece really seemed to enjoy it, so I’ll have to bring 2 or 3 next time, because I’m not sure if everyone who wanted to try it got a chance to. Anyhoo, this delicious cakey cookie is currently in the case and available at Mary’s on College Street. It’s seasonal, so I’m gonna hope that it’s available for the whole Summer! 🤞😜🤞

LEARNING THINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA

HAUNT DOGS

By now I’m sure you heard that the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile was in Asheville, and if you were lucky, you got to see it, maybe go inside, or even take a ride!

It was parked at Haunt by Spoon + Hook on Haywood in West Asheville, where there was a little block party with vendors and such. I bought some soap, an art print, and a hot dog from Chef Ashley Capps (New Stock Kitchen). She even wrote “HAUNT” in mustard on my dog! Good times! Great hot dog. And I wouldn’t have known about any of this stuff if Dawn hadn’t seen it on Haunt’s Instagram page! I know social media is slowly deteriorating the fabric of society and destroying the quality of our lives, but if I can learn about some good dogs goin’ on, I’m all for it! 😂

MULTI-NAPKIN SANDWICH

SHARESIES IS CARESIES

Sarah and I split a very delicious sandwich from The Rhu the other day. It’s called the “Turkepeno” and it has: Roasted Turkey, Pickled Jalepenos, Bacon, Gouda, Chipotle Sauce and Fresh Collards on Sourdough.

We both loved it and we crushed it and we were both nice and full and satisfied! Warning, between the two of us we went through at least 8 and perhaps up to a dozen napkins. It is not a sandwich for neat freaks! 😂😂😂 Everybody else, roll up your sleeves, grab a friend, and tuck in. Super high recommends.

TRAVEL BLOGUE: WINTER PARK, FLORIDA

CHUAN FU!

While I was in Winter Park, FL with Dawn, we popped into a place called Chuan Fu for some excellent Chinese food! We got Szechuan wontons, something green with garlic, and a hot pot with shrimp and short ribs. Everything was excellent! The wonton wraps were very silky and smooth and the flavor was spicy and savory and awesome!

The green stuff was mild and buttery, with just the right amount of garlic chopped up into it to make it flavorful without being a garlic punch in the face. Perfect. The hot pot was not just delicious, but it was beautiful to look at and fun to eat! You can’t tell from this picture but there’s a wee little flame underneath it so it sizzles and stuff right on your table. Our server was very patient with us, super friendly, and helpful! She gets 5 stars. Dawn found this restaurant listed on the MICHELIN Guide website, and I’m so glad we tried it! Super high recommends.

SUBSCRIBE & WIN

Stu Helm: Food Fan is a reader-supported publication. Please subscribe!

Every month, all paid subscribers will be entered into a contest to win a $50 gift certificate from my friends at Twisted Laurel Downtown Ashevillel! If you already subscribe, you’re already entered! If not, simply subscribe to be eligible!

Subscribe now

DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE BEING A HERO TODAY?

$1,800 is all it takes to move one of our elderly neighbors from the waitlist to the active delivery list for Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co., Inc. Maybe you can donate a little, maybe you can donate a lot, maybe you can cover the whole $1,800! Anything you can do is super helpful and shows that you care about the folks in our community who need it most! ❤ If you’re unable to donate, heroes also come in the form of volunteers!

DONATE / VOLUNTEER

DAMN YOU, PETROCHEMICALS!!!

UNFUN FOOD FACT: I love vanilla, but I guess I’ll have to settle for synthetic vanillin most of the time. Extracting natural vanilla is very labor-intensive, ie expensive, so a synthetic chemical version of vanillin made in labs is used about 90% of the time for commercial food products on a global scale. Among other things this synthnilla is made from “petrochemical feedstocks” and lignin, which is a byproduct of the paper manufacturing process. Yikes. That’s fucking weird. I’ve been to a paper mill town, and the idea of eating anything that’s made from a byproduct of that heinous process is a little nauseating. Almost as bad as that time we all found out that figs have dead wasps in them. Oh, you didn’t hear that? Look it up.

WTF ARE PETROCHEMICAL FEEDSTOCKS?

“Petrochemical feedstocks are the foundational raw materials extracted from fossil fuels. They are processed in refineries to create everyday products like plastics, synthetic rubber, detergents, and fertilizers.” - US Energy Information Adm.

This post may contain swears, as well as typos & exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

I went away for a few days, and when I got home and stepped on my front porch to feed the birds for the first time, my favorite cardinal flew right up to me, and sat, like, a foot away from me, and got super excited, bobbing up and down, flappin’ his wee little wings, and “peep peep peeping” like crazy. It was pretty fucking cute, I gotta say. Now let’s talk about food…

WHERE TO EAT BRUNCH

WOW FACTOR

I shared some French toast with my wife for brunch at Xico Asheville not long ago and I’m not blowing any smoke here, it was some of the best French toast that either of us has ever had. I was busy enjoying some eggs ranchero when the French toast showed up, so Dawn tried it first, and right away she said “wow.”

Now, something you gotta understand about my wife, is that the word “wow” doesn’t pop out of her mouth as often as it might pop out of my mouth. In other words she’s a little more reserved, a little bit more stoic, and perhaps a little more discerning when it comes to enthusing about high-end food. 😂 So the fact that she said “wow,” prompted me to pause in my demolition of the eggs long enough to look at her and say, “wow?” To which she responded, “wow.” So I took a bite and without my brain even commanding it to do so, my mouth involuntarily said, “wow.” Then when I told the chef that my wife said “wow,” and then told him how my wife doesn’t really say “wow,” to which he just said, “wow!” And then we both just looked at each other and laughed. Anyhoodles, you gotta try this French toast for brunch at Xico. On the menu it’s called Pan Torrejas and it’s described as a tres leches French toast with mixed berries, pure maple syrup, fresh whipped cream and candied pecans. Wow. 🤩

A REASONABLY-SIZED PIZZA

FUNKATORIUM HAS PIZZA?

Did you know that the Wicked Weed Funkatorium has pizza? I didn’t know that, and I know a LOT about where to find pizza in this town! LOL I built a dang Pizza Map that includes the entirety of Western North Carolina, yet somehow I missed this one right under my nose. Anyhoo, first I noticed their sign, and then I got me a pie. Pepperoni.

I had my expectations set on medium-high, because the food there is usually really good, but ya just don’t know how good anybody’s pizza is until you try it. My expectations were met and exceeded! The style is Neapolitan. The crust was excellent. Chewy, salty and doughy with dark spots and bubbles. The rest of the pizza had all the right flavors and textures, and as you can see from the pictures, they do not eff around when it comes to the ronis! Lotta lotta little cups, y’all. Lotta little cups. At first I was a little freaked out by how much grease appeared to be in the cups, but turns out that’s actually an awesome mix of grease and hot honey, so there’s a bit o’ sweetness to this one. It could have been a tad spicier for me, so next time I’ll ask for some hot sauce if they have any. And yes, the true test of whether or not I liked a pizza is if I start thinking about “next time,” before I’ve even finished with this time! It’s nice to know that there’s a really tasty, reasonably sized pie available to me on my walk home from work, and I recommend it! I just got water, but I bet it goes great with beer. 🤔😄

TRAVEL BLOGUE: MAITLAND, FLORIDA

KAPPY’S SUPER SUBS!

I just returned from a trip to Winter Park, FL. I flew into Sandford Airport and the first stop was the classic old school local favorite, Kappy’s Subs in Maitland, where I got a Kappy’s Cheesesteak and Dawn got a traditional burger. They were both great! Just exactly what we wanted.

GREED IS THE ENEMY OF COMMUNITY

Kappy’s almost closed down in 2024 due to... landlord issues. Restaurants almost never close because the food is no good or because people don’t like it. It’s usually about rent, food costs, rent, labor costs, rent and other overhead, like rent. Kappy’s had been a much beloved part of Maitland for over 50 years, but when the building sold a few years back, they almost had to close. Thankfully, Chef Adam Milsom was able to reach an agreement with the new landlords at the 11th hour, and the famous food makers have remained open. Greed is a terrible thing, Y’all. It’s the enemy of community. I’m so happy that Maitland rallied, that the owners persisted and negotiated, and together they saved Kappy’s! It was an honor to be a patron. Super high recommends for so many reasons. If you’re flying into Sandford, be sure to stop into Kappy’s! ❤️

FIVE STAR FOOD TOUR FOOD

TROUT RISOTTO TRIAL BY FIRE

Just in case you didn’t know, food tour food fucking rules. For examps, one day we had a giant-sized corporate tour of 26 MFers total, and we were bringing them to 6 different restaurants, including The Blackbird on Biltmore Avenue. The kitchen sent out 27 servings of an incredible little trout and risotto dish, so I got to share one with my fellow tour guide Sarah. It was creamy, savory, comforting, rich, complex, texturally very pleasing, and super delicious! I was fucking impressed!

Food tours: Take ‘em. Tour food: Mmm good.

Only weeks later did I find out that it was conceived of and prepared spontaneously by, one of the new young chefs in the kitchen, whose name is Sky. Sky Walker. True story. Anyhoo, she was pumped when I told her how much I enjoyed her creation, and she told me that it was her “trial by fire,” because the rest of the kitchen pretty much just said to her “the tour’s here, it’s all you, go for it.” She had never done tour food before, but she fuckin’ went for it, and SHE NAILED IT! This dish is not on the menu, but all the food there is great, and I been recommending it for years. Blackbird is open for brunch and dinner. And of course, please reach out to us at Asheville Food Tours to book a fun and tasty tour for your company for as many MFers as you want! We’ve done 50+. I think we even did 80 people once. Or maybe it just felt like it. I’ll ask Paddy.

🚨 CHEAP EATS ALERT 🚨

TACO TRIPLE DIPPLE!

We’re all looking for great affordable food, and they’ve got it at Tortilleria Molina. I got one each of the beria, pastor, and chicken tacos, and they were great. Don’t tell anyone though! Seating is limited. JK Tell everyone and support this local business!

As of this writing the tacos are $4.00 / $4.50 each depending on the kind of taco, and they are always served on the best fresh, house-made corn tortillas I’ve had in WNC, with onions, cilantro, lime & salsa. Super high recommends.

SUBSCRIBE & WIN

Stu Helm: Food Fan is a reader-supported publication. Please subscribe!

Every month, all paid subscribers will be entered into a contest to win a $50 gift certificate from my friends at Twisted Laurel Downtown Ashevillel! If you already subscribe, you’re already entered! If not, simply subscribe to be eligible!

Subscribe now

DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE BEING A HERO TODAY?

$1,800 is all it takes to move one of our elderly neighbors from the waitlist to the active delivery list for Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co., Inc. Maybe you can donate a little, maybe you can donate a lot, maybe you can cover the whole $1,800! Anything you can do is super helpful and shows that you care about the folks in our community who need it most! ❤ If you’re unable to donate, heroes also come in the form of volunteers!

DONATE / VOLUNTEER

Note To Self: Find & Eat More Yams.

FOOD FACT: I always thought that yams and sweet potatoes were the same thing, because A) I’m an idiot, and B) where I grew up there were basically two dishes called candied yams and sweet potato pie, and they were clearly made out of the same thing, so I thought that “yam” was just another name for sweet potatoes. Turns out that’s just wrong. I mean, yes, both the candied yams and sweet potato pie I encountered were made out of the same thing: Sweet potatoes. No actual yams were used during the making of the candied yams. Turns out, yams are different than and botanically unrelated to sweet taters. They are a distinct flora, and they have different tastes, textures, and origins than sweet potatoes. Of course the confusion here in The States is the result of marketing (the same brain-wash style gaslight marketing that has us all convinced that tomatoes are vegetables not fruits), aaand… wait for ittt… racism. Fuck. Why is there always racism!?! C’mon ‘Merca. Do better. Even yams? Sigh. Anyhoo, you can learn more about all that business HERE, but the bottom line is that yams and sweet potatoes are not the same thing, and I gotta find and eat more yams.

This post may contain swears, as well as typos & exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

How ya feelin’? You good? I hope so. This whole world is glitching, but we doin’ the best we can up here in WNC, right? As always. So, let’s talk about food…

SWANNANOA CARBS DISTRICT

You like pretzels? Big soft warm fluffy doughy pretzels? I sure AF do! And I like small businesses too, so when Asheville’s own Blunt Pretzels contacted Paddy and invited Asheville Food Tours to come pay them a visit, we gladly piled into the Paddy-Wagon for a short trip to Beacon Village in Swannanoa

There we found the cutest little cluster of businesses, including Blunt Pretzels, Roots & Branches cracker company, and another shop called Ovenbird Kitchen. Sarah immediately dubbed it “The Carbs District.” She’s the clever one in our group. Paddy and I are just there to look pretty.

We stopped into all three shops, starting with Blunt where we were greeted with big smiles and even bigger pretzels! We started with one giant pretzel and three pretzel knots, served with the beer cheese, pimento cheese, and Lusty Monk mustard. Both the beer and pim cheeses contain goat cheese, which gives them a unique, earthy tone, and of course Lusty Monk is powerfully strong, a personal fave, and a WNC standard. We were off to a great start!

Next they brought us 3 pretzel sandos: A take on a Reuben, and an Italian, and one with pimento cheese with arugula. All 3 were great, and I especially enjoyed the Italian, which was very flavorful and meaty! I will admit that I don’t always love sandwiches on hard breads, like bagels or pretzel buns, but these sandwiches were made with big, flat-ish pretzels that were cooked into nice soft spiral shapes, not big hard buns, which made them a lot easier to eat, so, we ate until we were stuffed!

The pretzels were perfect, the flavors were bangin’, the staff was super nice, the outdoor seating area was cute and comfortable, and the whole thing totally worth the trip!

After our pretzelly adventure, I bought some crackers and a cookie and a muffin at the other two places, all great.

So, I highly recommend popping by the Carbs District of Swannanoa, and paying a visit to all of the nice baker folks there, and supporting Swannanoa!

PS - Thanks, to all the local food fans on Facebook for mentioning Short Sleeves Coffee! I’m not sure how we managed to miss it, but now we have one more great reason to return to the Swannanoa Carbs District!

MY ASMR BAR

I recently called Sweets and Seats the most Vaporwave cafe in town, which is true, and in addition to/partly because of that, it is my own personal ASMR Bar. ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) works differently for everyone, and for me there’s just something about the music, the lights, the aroma, the hum of the HVAC, even the shapes of the furniture and plating treats… I dunno exactly what it is, but the whole vibe triggers my ASMR in the most satisfying way. Errrlerrrvvvitttt… zzzzz… drool… HUH? WHAZZAT?

“It’s time to go, sir, we’re closing.”

Plus the food and coffee are great and they sell cute toys like the Sonny Angel minifigure Christmas series. Squeee! I bought one the other day, and I can’t wait until December 25, when I get to see what’s inside! 🎅🎄

Here’s more about ASMR if you’re curious…

All About Psychology

The Psychology of ASMR

Before I had any idea what ASMR was, I would often feel a pleasant tingle when I heard a soothing voice in an advert, film, or TV show. Amélie whispering in the cinema in French gets me every time (see video below). Years later, when the term Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response…

Read more

7 months ago · 30 likes · 4 comments · David Webb

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🎉 WE HAVE ANOTHER WINNER! 🎉

Congrats to Natalie L! Natalie has been a paid subscriber since September of 2024, and their name was randomly selected from among all of my paid subscribers as the winner of my monthly contest! Natalie gets a $50 gift card to Twisted Laurel this month, and they’ll still be eligible to win again next month, and every month, as will every single one of paid subscribers! For $30 a year, you could potentially win $50 a month. Thanks, Natalie!

DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE BEING A HERO TODAY?

$1,800 is all it takes to move one of our elderly neighbors from the waitlist to the active delivery list for Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co., Inc. Maybe you can donate a little, maybe you can donate a lot, maybe you can cover the whole $1,800! Anything you can do is super helpful and shows that you care about the folks in our community who need it most! ❤ If you’re unable to donate, heroes also come in the form of volunteers!

DONATE / VOLUNTEER

FOOD FACT: The most popular food on planet Earth is RICE! Over 40,000 varieties of rice have been enjoyed all over the world for 9,000 years or more! Boiled Oreo Rice has been around for a little over a decade.

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This post may contain swears, as well as typos & exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

I hope you’re enjoying the nice weather right now. This is what we all live for in these mountains, right? It’s been a little drought-y, but ye ol’ iPhone is predicting there’s rain a’comin’ this weekend, and I don’t mind that one bit! Now let’s talk about food…

PIZZA OF THE MONTH

I’m not the most fruit-and-vegetable oriented person you’ll ever meet, so I generally have only a vague idea about what’s “in season” at any given time. While others may guage such things by the calendar, the weather, and/or the Farmer’s Almanac, my usual source for any meager knowledge that I may have about what’s in season *right now* comes entirely from restaurant menus. Aaand I’m gonna guess that strawberries are in season right now somewhere in these mountains, because they are showing up on menus all over town. They’re in salads and desserts of course, but apparently they’re even on pizza in this insane world we live in nowadays. To me, strawberries on a pizza sounds like a terrible idea, but as always, if Chef Drew Peterson from Beer City Pizza does it, I’m down to clown. And as always, I’m real glad I did!

Here’s the breakdown, straight from Drew...

APRIL pizza of the month 2026: The Strawberry Rhubarb “Pie”

Strawberry mornay sauce with Swiss and gruyere. Procuitto. Strawberry chunks tossed in honey, fresh basil and cayenne. Goat cheese. Candied bacon. After the oven, walnuts, fresh basil and a rhubarb citrus reduction. Just like grandma used to make it. Give us a call! 828-277-5775 Or hit us up online

It was super weird and super delicious! Sweet and savory at the same time, texturally pleasing and structurally sound, and just a fantasy world of flavor. I frickin’ loved it! Drew told me that these pizzas of the month have been very popular, and the audience for them has been growing steadily. He said that there are lots of folks who order one or more every single month, a few fans out there who don’t even want to know the name of the pizza or what’s in/on it before they eat it, so that they can try to guess what the theme and ingredients are! Funsies. He told me that so far, no one has been able to guess. I think Drew and his staff at Beer City Pizza are doing something really special with their pizzas of the month, and apparently I’m not the only one, because the momentum for these freaky pies just seems keeps on building!

ALWAYS RECOMMENDED

I stopped into Bee Thai Kitchen on South French Broad Ave on my walk home from work recently and brought home some gyoza, curry with tofu, and my favorite: Crab fried rice!

The rice is very mild and subtle in flavor, so I ordered the curry “Thai hot” and it was great! It was spicy for sure, but not too spicy to enjoy. This restaurant has become one of my standard go-to places. The food is fresh and tasty, and the people are really nice. Always recommended. PS - Sorry I didn’t take better pictures, I was super hungry and in a hurry to eat! 😂

RUN-ON SENTENCES FOR LUNCH

Dawn & I went to a Chef Khan Kogure pop-up happening on the South Slope... but...

…there were a lot more people there than we thought there would be, and we waited in line for as long as we could, but Dawn had to catch an airplane, so we eventually had to bail, but we were hungry AF, so we had to find something to eat in the neighborhood, so we went to Chai Pani, where I got a cold chai and the gluten-friendly Hara Masala Prawns with mint, cilantro, curry leaf, green chili, & garlic, and Dawn got the vegan, gluten-friendly Spring Green Uttapam with hardy field greens, spring alliums, green garlic oil, ginger, and green chilies, and the food was great, and our server was awesome, and we were in & out in plenty of time for Dawn to get home, order a ride, get to the airport and catch her plane, and... this post was brought to you by Run On Sentences ‘R’ Us.

MY LAST ONE + SAUSAGE & MOCKTAIL

Y’all, today, April 24th, is the 15 year anniversary of my last one. My last drink. One of the best things I ever did was quit drakin’ and I thank myself everyday for making that decision and sticking with it. If you are struggling with alcohol, please know this: If I can quit drinking, anyone can, so you can too. Some people can do it on their own, some need support. If you’re in the food & beverage industry and you need support, there’s an organization called Ben’s Friends that is there for you. Anyhoo, let’s eat.

One evening after my shift at Rhubarb ended, I occupied a seat at the bar, where I’m very comfortable, having spent so much of my time sitting and working at bars in the past, and as you all know already, nowadays there’s a wide variety of N/A beverages available to choose from. So I ordered me up a sausage, and requested an N/A old fashioned from my friend Famous Jay behind the bar. I’m pretty sure (like 100% percent sure) that I’m the only person who calls him “Famous Jay,” but everyone seems to know this guy, so... I’m calling him that. Both the sausage and the old fashioned were tasty AF and I enjoyed them individually on their own merits, as well as together as a flavor combo.

Wait. Did I just do *pairing* with an *N/A* beverage? Yes, I did. The quality of non-alcoholic beverages of all kinds has steadily risen since’t I quit drankin’ and this old fashioned, while not a carbon copy of the alcoholic cocktail, was close enough for me, and tasted great! The sausage was delicious, made with pork and venison and Spicewalla Madras curry, and served with Lusty Monk mustard, garlic butter and wild rapini. The menu at Rhubarb changes so often, that even though I work there, I’m not sure if the sausage will still be on the menu, but the food at Rhubarb is all good and Famous Jay will spin you up a cocktail *or* mocktail to go with your dishes, no matter what you order. Thanks for reading this far, and again, if you’re struggling with alcohol, quitting is possible, you’re strong, you got this, no probs. ❤️❤️❤️

A MESSAGE FROM MOWABC

It’s still Volunteer Appreciation Month continues at Meals on Wheels of Asheville and Buncombe County!

Meet Genie! Year after year, she has built real relationships with the seniors on her route. The connections she has formed run deep: one couple left such a lasting impression that their photo now hangs in her room, and one client affectionately calls her “her girl.” For Genie, the reward is mutual. As she puts it, “It’s not just about the food that you’re giving them. You’re giving more than the food. You’re bringing companionship… and you’re also making sure they’re okay.” 💛

SIGN UP TO VOLUNTEER TODAY!

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FYI

Asheville Food Tours does large parties and corporate tours! We took this group of 25 people that were in town for work and team building to 6 great local restaurants and a chocolate shop. They loved it, and so did our restaurant partners.

If you’ve got a large party, call Paddy at 828-243-7401 and we’ll make it happen, or click the button below to learn more about all of our tours!

BOOK A TOUR NOW!

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This post may contain swears, as well as typos & exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

There are a lot of words in this newsletter so I’ll keep my intro brief. The world is a dang mess. Let’s talk about food…

NEW POP-UP SERIES

So, Dawn bought us a pair of tickets to a pop-up dinner that happened inside of a very cute little shop in West Asheville called Haunt by Spoon + Hook. The pop-up menu featured the cooking of Chef Shannon McSorley (formerly of Salt & Smoke and then Vivian) with wine curated by Rise Over Run. First of all, it’s sooo hard to pull-off a decent pop-up in a non-restaurant venue, but Shannon and her small crew of helpers did an awesome job! From the guest’s point of view, everything was smooth, the setting was lovely, the courses were on time, the warm dishes were served warm, and the entire experience was a pleasure all around. Congrats to the hosts on a very successful endeavor! And now, the food…

The dishes featured local farms and foragers, and each course was excellent, with a couple of standout dishes in the mix. We started with caviar and blinis served with salsify, creme fraiche and wild onion. I’m crass. I made two tiny tacos out of my wee little pancakes ‘n’ fish egg fixin’s and ate them in something like 4 to 6 bites. Then I used my tiny spoon to make tiny scraping noises as I ate every tiny egg and every gettable bit of creme fraiche off of my plate. And that was the theme of my night. Eating all edible things that were put in front of me, and not leaving even one bite behind for poor old Jenny Craig! Sorry, Jenny, you’re SOL tonight!

Aaanyhoodles, after the caviar came a very unique salad of locally foraged wild greens with New Stock Pantry’s green goddess dressing (the best!) and a Spanish style tortilla made with taters, local eggs and trout from Sunburst Trout Farms. Hardy, fresh, tasty, yum.

Next came one of the STANDOUT dishes: Nettle agnolotti stuffed with ricotta, mascarpone and something called duxelles that is a mix of mushrooms and shallots. It was accompanied by sautéed wild morels and locally grown Black Trumpet Farm oyster mushrooms with buerre monte and garlic mustard. Holy frickin’ moly, Y’all. Just the name of this dish alone has, like, 5 of my favorite foreign language words in it, and 2 that I had to look up! I could have eaten an endless amount of this dish. Tender but toothy hand made pasta with just the dreamiest of things all up in and around it.

Not to be outdone by her own self, the next dish that Chef Shannon presented to us was the other standout: Beef cheeks braised with sassafras and another ingredient that I had to look up called spicebush, which is pretty much what it sounds like: A native bush whose leaves and berries can be used as food (or medicine) that has a pepper/citrus/allspice vibe. Them cheeks were served atop some Farm and Sparrow grits and came with a charred ramp on the side. It was perfect. Perfect in every way. The sound of my own spoon scraping the bottom of the bowl could have been the last thing I heard before dying, and I would have died happy. I did not actually die, however, and so I live to tell the tale of this fantastic meal, which ended with a homey, generous and yummy offering of pistachio pound cake with strawberries and cream. Again... scraaaape.

Each course was paired with a pour of different wines from all over the world, and Dawn loved them all so much that she bought a bottle of each to take home! I was served a couple of very nice N/A wines that I enjoyed, and Dawn confirmed that they even tasted like real wine! I wouldn’t know. I always drank beer when I drank, so I don’t have any clue what good wine tastes like, but I do know that I liked both of the beverages they gave me! Also, every pour of (real) wine came with a story from the som, as did each dish with one from the chef, and unlike a lot of the ticketed dinners I’ve been to in the past, the stories were funny and entertaining, and best of all, brief!

So, we had a blast! Seating was done family style, with everyone at one big long table, and our dinner mates were nice, interesting, super into food, and easy to talk to. Everyone seemed to revel in the experience from start to finish. There was lots of applause and cheering. If you missed it, don’t feel left out! This was just the first in a series of these pop-ups that will be happening, so just be sure to follow Haunt and Chef Shannon on social media to find out when the next one is! Highly recommended. Five stars.

THE WORD OF THE DAY IS “AGNOLOTTI”

Y’all... during my shift at Rhubarb the other day, I got to try Chef Mallory’s INSANELY delicious Duck Confit Agnolotti that was, like, an extra, because she made for a friend of her’s that came in to dine, but they had already ordered it, so, yadda yadda, chef offered it to me (squeee!) and I shared it with Jay who was working behind the bar. It was truly one of the most fantastically delicious things I’ve eaten recently. Like so many of this chef’s dishes that I’ve shared with other people lately, I had immediate mine-mine-all-mine feelings, followed by internal greed shame. Part of me wanted to take the whole dish into a dark corner and devour every scrap while whispering “precious” to myself in low guttural tones. But then I remembered my upbringing and summoned the spirit of Mother Teresa and split this MFer exactly down the middle -- and I mean EXACTLY -- and pushed half it toward Jay, saying meekly at first, then a little louder, “Help me eat this, Bro.” I was secretly dying inside. Anyhoo...

It’s house made ramp pasta, stuffed with a very texturally pleasing and savory AF duck confit-ricotta filling. Yom. So tasty! But wait! It gets even better from there with a deep dark dank duck jus, ramp mascarpone, lime, and pickled red buds, which are exactly what they sound like: the pickled edible flower buds of the local redbud tree! The coup de gras was a sprinkling of roasty toasty hazelnuts on top that gave it the perfect crunch. This dish features all the things that The Barb does so well: Appalachian cooking traditions using local ingredients fused with fancypants, sometimes international, cuisine to create comforting flavors, presented in exciting new high fallutin’ ways that, again, are INSANELY delicious! This dish will be on the menu for a while according to the Chef, so git on in. I’m there at the host stand on Mondays & Thursdays.

PS - Isn’t jus just one of the greatest things on planet earth? Other jus fans, here’s a fist-bump for just for jus. 👊

GOOD THINGS STILL HAPPEN

Well, here’s something good that happened... A long time ago -- like ten years??? -- I used to do social media for a restaurant in West Asheville that was called Barleycorn. The food there was AWESOME, and I worked with a great crew, including two brothers. There was Jon, who did the accounting, and Chef Greg, who was a fantastic cook making some of the best food ever. I still think about it to this day. Welsh Rarebit, Bangers & Mash, Fish & Chips and other British stuff. Gahd! It was so great. But as you know, restaurants close. And it’s almost never because the food is bad. It usually involves things like rent, overhead, infrastructure and the economy, and unfortunately Barleycorn closed-up for some if not all of those reasons.

Anyhoo, I hadn’t seen or heard from Jon or Greg in a long time, until a week or so ago, when Jon contacted me out of the blue, and asked if we had reached our fundraising goal of $1,800 for Meals On Wheels Of Asheville & Buncombe County earlier this year. When I told him that we had raised $712 he met with me a few days later at Wheelhouse and cut a check to make up the difference! ❤ ❤ ❤ HELL YES! These days Jon owns an elder care company called Right at Home, and he obviously has a big soft spot in his heart for folks who are getting super-old, but still want to stay in their own houses. His company provides a number of crucial services, and he sees with his own eyes how his own clients also benefit from Meals on Wheels, so he wants to support them as well. See? Jon is a good guy, and he is proof that good things are still happening in this world. Please try to do something good today, and of course, as always, if you can, donate to Meals on Wheels! It only takes $1,800 to move one of our senior neighbors from the waitlist and put them on the active delivery list for an entire year! That’s a hot meal and a friendly visit every day, 5 days a week, from someone who cares. If you’re inspired by Jon, or my own mom who recently wrote a check for the whole $1,800, please consider changing someone’s life today.

DONATE TO MOWABC

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This post may contain swears, as well as typos & exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

I watch the price of coffee like normal people watch the price of gas. It’s not good, and it’s gotten significantly worse since the chart below was created.

I buy my coffee in bulk, so I can compare my statements and plainly see that my coffee costs have increased by 20% since ol’ numbnuts took office for term two and slapped a bunch of crazy tariffs on all kinds of dumb shit all willy-nilly (1), including coffee, which totally pissed off the coffee producing nations, who proceeded to give us the finger and get cozy with Canada instead! (2) I want to make sure that I’m 100% clear: We - that’s you and me - we are paying more for our coffee right now because of Trump’s bullshit tariffs, and of course, let’s not forget catastrophic global climate change and environmental degradation, which have steadily driven coffee prices higher for decades. (3) And do you know how bad for the environment this dumb war on Iran is??? It’s fucking nuts. (4) We need to figure some serious shit out, Y’all. For real. In the meantime… let’s talk about food…

BREAD FAN

When I first started writing about food online umptydump years ago, I often lamented the scarcity of pre-dinner bread service in modern restaurants... *What’s that you say, Ol’ Stu (you washed unc), bread service?* AHEM! I WAS SAYING... When I was a kid growing up in New England you almost always got bread service before dinner at restaurants. It was pretty standard stuff, and most of the time it was free. Now, those days are long gone, poor children, and free bread is a thing of the ancient past (please inform me in the comments if there are any restaurants in WNC currently providing free bread service), but I have noticed that more restaurants have started to offer fresh baked bread service for a price on their menus, and I’m a big fan of that practice, even if I do have to pay for it.

I think that the folks at Tall John’s may have been instrumental in kickstarting the current bread service trend by offering their super tasty Parker House rolls pretty much ever since they first opened (I think?) and they instantly got kinda foodie-famous because they are so good! Dawn and I almost never don’t get them when we go there.

Kind of a side-story is that my good friend Chef Thom at Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville noticed that Tall John’s was offering those Parker House Rolls, so he was like, “I can do that,” and made some of his own! LOL! And also danggggg. Them rolls were good. I don’t know if they’ll make it onto Tom’s regular menu or if he was just showing off, but yeah, that guy can cook anything.

Anyhoo, the real inspiration for this bread-fan post is the fresh-baked brioche rolls that I got very recently at Rhubarb, where Chef Malory looked me right in my eyeballs and said, “Order the rolls.” She’s not a person that you don’t do what she says. So I ordered the rolls.

I got them for myself and my family and we devoured them like Galactus devours worlds. Quickly, mercilessly, and totally without remorse. Holy fucknuts they were good. I just want to eat them forever and ever, only taking breaks long enough to drop a million F bombs about them across all social media platforms. They were warm, buttery, salty, fluffy, and tasty AF. They came with a lot of extra butter, and we put a pretty hefty dent in that too. Y’know, because calories are lighter in the mountains and happiness burns fat.

So, obvs, I highly recommend this bread service, and of course, as always, full disclosure: I recently started working at Rhubarb! I love the food, and now I’m there two days a week at the host stand, which I’ve been enjoying very much! I think it’s a great place to work, and I’m real happy to be there.

HOT TIPS FROM OTHER BREAD FANS

Gauchino Brazilian steakhouse has amazing complimentary Brazilian cheese bread, plus they keep bringing them. - Anne C.

Another bread service to try is at Wildwood Still. We went there for Valentine’s Day. It was a focaccia bread. While the whole dinner was great, that was the highlight for my wife and I. We agreed that it might’ve been the best bread we’ve ever had. - Alan W.

Garlic knots are served with every meal at Glass Onion in Weaverville. They are wonderful (as are the rest of food and service). - Toby B.

Stone Ridge [Tavern] serves rolls and a flavored butter for free. - Margaret D.

The bread service at Table is ahhhmazing. 😍 - Chloë C.

Bread service at Luminosa. - Diane SR

Caffé REL in Hendersonville has complementary bread service. - Dorothy T.

Tommy’s Family Restaurant in Weaverville has free bread service. Binion’s Roadhouse in Hendo. I keep thinking of new ones. Vinnie’s Italian Restaurant. - The Line Cook Perspective

Thanks for the bread tips, y’all! Let’s keep it rolling! Get it? ROLL-ing? :P If you know of any bread service, free or otherwise, that you would like to shout out, please use the comments section below!

Leave a comment

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A MESSAGE FROM MEALS ON WHEELS

“Meet Jesse and Jessica, two of the dedicated van drivers behind the routes that keep our meals moving every week. Jesse has been with us for a year and a half, and he loves the connections he’s formed between seniors and other volunteers. Jessica joined us a year ago, and she’ll tell you it’s the people that make Meals on Wheels special: ‘To me the most meaningful part is when I walk in and everyone will say good morning, it’s an overall a great vibe every day.’ 💙”

Please volunteer for Meals On Wheels Of Asheville & Buncombe County if you are able. Thank you!

Volunteer for Meals on Wheels

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This post may contain swears, as well as typos & exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

I spent 2 days recently making a 9-hole bocce golf course in my yard. All 9 holes have super-cringe names like “Cabin In The Woods,” “Stump Town” and “Ramp Season.” Yeah yeah, I know I’m a little crazy, you don’t have to tell me! LOL 😜 But you know what? If it wasn’t for my MANIC days, I’d just be fucking depressed all the time, so let’s play Bolf! And talk about food…

NEW BRUNCH

Just in case you didn’t know, Xico Asheville, the Mexican-inspired live fire restaurant on the South Slope is now serving brunch! I love brunch, so when they invited me, I pounced! Upon arrival I received a friendly greeting, and was led to the seat I requested at the bar, where I ordered the Heuvos Rancheros.

The bartender was attentive and informative about the menu -- for one thing, he pointed out to my dumb ass that the brunch menu is printed on the back of the regular menu, so he saved me from ordering wrong. I’m a wrong-orderer from way back, which can result in meal regret, which in turn results in sadnesses. Not that I wouldn’t have enjoyed the enchiladas that I almost ordered, but I would have been sad to find out later that I missed the entire brunch menu, so thanks for saving me from myself, Mr. Bartender Man. Anyhoodles, the huevos rancheros were excellent! Very large, hardy and flavorful. It starts with crispy tortillas on the bottom, then some refried beans, a really thicc slab of country ham, two sunny side up eggs, queso mixto, salsa ranchero, sliced avocado, and pico de gallo. Everything was cooked just right and was packed with savory flavors. It was a goodly sized portion, and I thought I might not be able to finish, but it was so tasty, I kept on rollin’ until it was all gone and I was all stuffed! So, yeah, I recommend the huevos rancheros for brunch at Xico, and I’m looking forward to going back to try the rest of their brunch items! This is my second time dining with Xico (third if you count the press party) and I’ve had nothing but positive experiences so far!

Reserve a Table at Xico

For old timers, Xico is located in the little building where the Foam & Fabric was located forever and ever.

FREEDOM LUNCH!

Last weekend my family attended the epic No Kings rally in Pack Square and then we enjoyed some food from Buxton Chicken Palace, Zen Sushi and The Hop Ice Cream at the S&W Cafeteria Building in Pritchard Park. Freedom and fried chicken, Y’all! 🇺🇸 🎉

If it seems a little weird to be protesting against the horrors of war one minute, and then eating delicious foods in a beautiful setting the next, it was, but in addition to being there to express our opposition to... so many things... we were also rallying for, and celebrating together, the freedoms & abundance that we have in America, and then three generations of my family enjoyed some of it, while supporting three local independently owned businesses in our city.

We love you, Asheville! Thanks for turning out!

PS - Keep an eye out for Baba Nahm to take over one of the spaces in the S&W soon, and then rebrand and reopen their current space on Biltmore Ave as something new! Squeee!

3 THINGS…

…that I love about Sweets and Seats Cafe...

1) Tasty specialty espresso beverages!
2) The most Vaporwave vibe in Asheville.
3) The thermostat is set at 68 degrees at all times.

LOCATION: Sweets & Seats, 77 & 81 Patton Ave, Asheville, NC 28801

You can learn more about the Vaporwave esthetic HERE.

ODE TO MASHED POTATOES

Love me some mashed taters.
Add some caramelized onions and they’re just about the greatest thing on planet Earth.
When it comes to comfort, ain’t no match for the humble yet mighty potato.

When these taters from Rhubarb arrived at our table, there was some collective confusion among the people gathered to eat them.
“Why aren’t they white?” asked the youngest.
“I think those are onions,” answered his brother.
“What’s that green stuff?”
There was no reply.
I may haved asked that last question in my head.
The people were obviously skeptical but very game.
“I’ll eat whatever this chef puts on a plate.”
Even if the plate is a bowl.
And so we tucked in.

Goot lort, Y’all.
So tasty!
So comforting!
From youngest to oldest, the people all rejoiced, though many among them confessed to a covetousness in their hearts born of a desire to eat them all, no sharesies.
Are they recommended?
Oh hell yes.
They are highly recommended.

- end ode -

For real, these look kinda weird as fuck for mashed potatoes, but under that top layer of green and brown lurks the creamy lumpy good white stuff that we all love. They were some of the best I’ve had.

PS - The brown stuff was onion gravy, and the green stuff was finely chopped chives, which seemed like a LOT of chives at first, but we ate every scrap in that bowl, so I guess they weren’t too much!

PPS - Full disclosure: I work the host stand two nights a week at Rhubarb now, but this night I was just there eating with my family.

Please come see us at The Barb Thursday through Monday, to eat potatoes & other things!

Reserve a Table at Rhubarb

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A MESSAGE FROM MEALS ON WHEELS

“April is Volunteer Appreciation Month, and all month long we will be spotlighting our incredible volunteers. We are kicking things off with Deerfield Episcopal Retirement Community! Each week, Deerfield residents deliver meals and ensure our neighbors never have to face the day without a meal and a friendly visit..”

Please volunteer for Meals On Wheels Of Asheville & Buncombe County if you are able. Thank you!

Volunteer for Meals on Wheels

— end —

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Y’all…

WTF we doin’? Every morning I wake up to a crazier and crazier world. WTF WE DOIN’??? See you at No Kings tomorrow (Saturday), I hope, and in the meantime, let’s talk about food…

BERLINER KINDL

I love German food! I’m German-American by heritage. My last name is “Helm,” FFS, So why has it taken me literally 20 years of living a 20 minute drive away from Berliner Kindl German Restaurant for me to get into the car, drive to Black Mountain, and walk in the door of this fairly legendary restaurant? Well, mostly because I don’t drive. I don’t have a driver’s license, I never have, and I probably never will, so I can’t drive to Black Mountain on my own, and have to depend on other people to give me a ride, and then once we’re in Black Mountain, those same people would also have to be interested in eating at Berliner Kindl with me, where we would surely consume large amounts of heavy foods. In my particular friend-group, those people are hard to find. They all on a dang diet of one kind or another. And nowadays, there are a lot of choices for where to eat in Black Mountain. So by the time we get there, and walk around, it’s hard to pull them away from the other options and into the ol’ Berliner for some brats and spaetzle! Buuuuut, not long ago, I was a little shocked when my wife, Dawn Roe -- a person who has been on my “least likely to join me at Haus Heidelberg” list for many years -- told me, “I do like a good pretzel and I don’t mind a bite of a brat,” so it was ON.

And it was great. I loved it. Pure comfort. I can’t wait to go back. We got some of the stuff we were hoping for -- a giant pretzel with beer cheese, German potato salad, German meatballs w/ mushrooms, gravy, toast & pickles, and of course spaetzle and a couple of bratwurst. Dawn even got a beer! (She usually drinks wine with dinner) The service was great, the chef stopped by our table to say hi, she was very nice, and they were kind enough to bring us our bratwurst platter on two plates!

We ate until we were stuffed, and I was personally very psyched about this meal! Now, mind you, it weren’t fancy. I don’t think that James Beard will be popping in anytime soon, and the Michelin Man is probably gonna keep onnn drivin’, but for me, this food hit the spot 100% and it was a fun place to be, plain and simple. I’m gonna try to talk my whole family into going with me next time!

SPEAKING OF FAMILY

The meat cheese pickle board at The Market Place Restaurant is epic and you better believe that my family descended on this thing like a small hoard of locusts.

Not one atomic particle of edible material was left behind by the time we were done. I might have chewed on the board a little bit. Not really. You’ll never know.

It changes all the time, so I won’t even bother trying to remember everything on the board, but it was, like, local cheeses, house made jam and crackers, spicy stuff, sausage-y stuff, olives and what-not. You know the deal. It was fucking great and I highly recommend I for any and all meat cheese pickle fans. You gunna luv it too.

ODE TO AWESOMENESS

We went to Pollen.
We shared an almond croissant.
It was bomb AF.

- end haiku -

I shared this picture and haiku on the Asheville Foodies Page, where you’re almost always guaranteed to get a negative comment no matter what you post, and yup, sure enough…

J.K. - “Except it is over baked!”
ME (person who ate it) - “If it looks a little brown on top, that’s just because the café toasted it for us. But that was also perfect!”
J.K. (person who did not eat, or even see this beautiful croissant in real life) - “over done period” (leaves actual period off end of sentence).
ME - (heavy sigh, walks away from computer, observes bird or flower instead).

I’M DOWN WITH BWP

You know me. I like big wieners and I can not lie. On July 25th, 2026, Bear’s Smokehouse BBQ will host their 2nd Annual Big Wiener Party fundraiser on the South Slope.

I’ll be there, gobblin’ some big wieners and judgin’ the shit out of ‘em. What about you? The BWP is a charity fundraiser, so don’t be a dick, save the date, stay tuned for more infos and get ready to come eat wieners with me.

PIZZA FEATURE

My good friend Chef Tom from Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville is experimenting with a focaccia crust / grandma style pizza and it’s insanely good.

Light but doughy, crispy and delicious. Smothered in fresh local tomatoes. I tried a piece several days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. 🤪 It’s not on the menu… yet. Tom has other delicious pizzas currently available, and hopefully this one will be soon!

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🎉 WE HAVE OUR FIRST WINNER! 🎉

Congrats to Chase K! Chase has been a paid subscriber since November of 2024, and their name was randomly selected from among all of my paid subscribers, to be the very first winner of my monthly contest! Chase gets a fiddy dollah gift card this month, and they’ll still be eligible to win it again next month, and every month, as will every single one of paid subscribers! For $30 a year, you could potentially win $50 a month. Thanks, Chase!

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A MESSAGE FROM MEALS ON WHEELS

“🚨 Incoming cute alert! Meet Cricket, Molly, and Tank, three very important members of our Meals on Wheels family! These beloved pets are companions to the seniors we serve, and keeping them fed and happy keeps their humans happy too.”

Please give or volunteer to Meals On Wheels Of Asheville & Buncombe County if you are able, and shop our Chewy Wishlist to support our Pet Program. Thank you!

SHOP OUR CHEWY WISHLIST

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Y’all…

Full disclosure: It’s been a dream of mine for a long time to work as a host at a fancy restaurant when I’m an old man, and I recently looked in the mirror and said to myself, “It’s time. You old.” So, when I heard Rhubarb was reopening -- one of my all time favorite restaurants -- I reached out to my friends there and asked them if I could fill out an application, and they basically said, “Naw. Don’t bother… You’re hired.” Sooo... come see me on Mondays and Thursdays when I’ll at the host stand! Of course, when it comes to the tasting below, I’m not recommending this food because I work at the restaurant! I asked to work at the restaurant because I love the food! So let’s talk about it…

LATEST TASTING

Rhubarb opened their doors the same year that I started writing about food and they were the very first restaurant to ever invite me to a “menu tasting” (shout-out to my friend Jessica for making that happen!) and last week, I sat down again, on a night that I wasn’t working, and tasted a bunch of their newest menu items, and… holy moly... I had a spectacular meal.

If you go, I highly recommend the warm dolmas stuffed with pulled pork, and served with peanuts and Alabama white sauce. (above) It’s a superstar dish. Pure comfort, combining familiar flavors in a new way, and presented beautifully, in very sharable portions. That you may not wish to share!

I’ve been telling anyone who will listen that the butter braised cabbage (above) is a surprise sleeper hit of a dish, because... well… first of all, it’s cabbage... but I’m a big cabbage fan, so I ordered it and it was insanely satisfying, with all kinds of crispy goodness going on and tons of flavor. Yeah, bonito flakes were in the house, and they were dancin’ up a storm.

Likewise, the sweet potatas bravas were excellent, and vying for “favorite” in the leaderboards of this meal with the dolmas above. They were crunchy on the outside, tender on the inside, tasty AF, and a perfect semi-whimsical Southern take a Spanish tapas classic.

And y’all, the broccoli broccolini brocco-something dish with honey & chili crisp was just as flavorful and perfectly cooked as the cabbage and sweet potatas. Loved it. I was getting very full, so when the burger I ordered showed up and was about the size of a small planet, I texted my friend Sarah and begged her to come help.

She showed up, ready to eat, and between the two of us... we barely put a dent in all this food! 😂 The burger was frickin’ wild. In a great way. It was a double patty with Fontina, fried onions, red pepper jam, garlic aioli, fries and some of the best pickles ever on the side. I mean, c’mon now.

We stuffed ourselves. We were groaning. So I ordered dessert. 😂 I thought Sarah was gonna hit me! But I had seen their desserts in person earlier in the week, and even tasted a single spoonful of one during a shift, so I was dying to get more than one bite! It was unreal. Chocolate cake with mousse and cherries and crunchy stuff. They say no one dies from love, but I did, right there at the Chef’s bar.

Anyhoodles, they boxed up what we couldn’t polish off, and I crushed the rest of the dessert later that night and reheated the rest, and it was great the second time around. The kitchen at Rhubarb is full of super nice and very talented people and the front of house is awesome. Please come see us and if you’re there on a Monday or a Thursday, please be patient with the guy at the host stand. He’s both old and new.🙂

LATE NIGHT BITES

One night after work I needed a little something to get me over for the walk home, so I stopped into Asheville Music Hall & The One Stop to get a slice of pizza around 9pm. (One Stop’s kitchen is open until 2am.)

Now, for sure, when you’re eating at One Stop, you’re eating in a dark, gritty, night club/bar, not a restaurant, and it 100% feels that way! I don’t mind. I used to practically live in places like this. The slice of cheese pizza that I got was large, tasty, and really hit the spot. They also offer pepperoni and other pizza toppings, as well as burgers, wings, and a pretty big selection of other bar fare. I’ll be popping in more often now that I work later, and I’ll try some of the other items from the rest of the menu as time goes by. So, yeah, if you’re hungry and it’s late, this place has you covered. Thanks, One Stop!

THE WIZARD

I was fortunate enough to get a visit from my friend the pizza wizard, Chef Drew Peterson from Beer City Pizza who stopped by with another one of his incredible Pizza of the Month offerings.

I think that by now l’ve tried a couple dozen of his insanely creative monthly pies now, and he never doesn’t surprise and impress me, they really do keep getting better and better. This one is called “The Spicy Mango Margarita.” The base is a whipped lime cilantro ricotta, then it’s topped with cayenne candied mango chunks, cotija cheese, chili lime chicken, blood orange and habanero agave syrup drizzle, all on a flaky salt and tajin crust and a tiny umbrella! It also comes with fresh lime wedges, and it’s truly one of the most unique and tasty pizzas that me and my family have ever eaten! Drew’s talent as a chef shines through on this one, y’all. Writing about is making me hungry right now. 😂 Anyhoo, it’s available all March long and can be ordered online or by calling (828) 277-5775

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Every month, all paid subscribers will be entered into a contest to win a $50 gift certificate from my friends at Twisted Laurel Downtown Ashevillel! If you already subscribe, you’re already entered! If not, simply subscribe to be eligible!

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A MESSAGE FROM MOWABC

“Since 2002, the heart of our program has been our commercial kitchen. Our menu has never stopped evolving, guided by nutritional standards, the diverse dietary needs of the seniors we serve, and the feedback they share with us along the way.”

Please give or volunteer to Meals On Wheels Of Asheville & Buncombe County if you are able. Thank you!

DONATE OR VOLUNTEER NOW

— end —

This post may contain swears, as well as exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

As I write this, my phone is tryin’ tell me that the “real feel” of the temperature outside is 16° Fahrenheit. Sixteen. That’s a one, followed by a Six. WTF?!? Yesterday it was 80. Me, I prefer 16° to 80°, but I’m not normal. But neither is this weather! But neither is anything else anymore. So, forget I said anything about “normal,” and let’s just talk about food instead…

BADASS BANH MI

Attention All Vegans, Vegetarians & Omnivores! I got this vegan banh mi sandwich yesterday at Dssolvr brewery down on N. Lexington Ave. and it was awesome!

It was expertly made using tempeh and mushroom paté along with all the other ingredients that make this sandwich so popular all over the world. I was surprised to discover that this brewery has a kitchen now and happy to find out that my old friend & badass chef, Ryan Kline is running the food out of that kitchen! I plan go back to try the other menu items, and to support my friend and his new food venture!

ALSO: WHY I ATE A VEGAN SANDWICH

First of all: Why not? Sounded tasty. And it was. Secondly, I want to be able to steer any vegans and/or vegetarians who might read my posts towards some good eats just like anyone else. Third: I doesn’t hurt for me to lay off the burgers and pork belly every 250th meal or so.

THEM RIBS

Tellin’ you what. The “St. Louis style” ribs at Huli Sue’s BBQ and Grill are fucking killer and I love them with all of my heart and soul.

Sweet, smoky, sticky, crispy, fall-off-the-bone, dee-fricka-lish, Y’all! And, not for nuthin’ that wee little bit of slaw underneath is the perfect “side salad.” Thanks, Huli’s! You = Awesome!

GITTIN’ FANCY

This one is for people who wanna eat some fancy food, that’s really good, and being cooked and served by awesome people in a real nice setting. There are 4 things that people always mention about Neng Jr’s: It’s small, it’s hard to get into, the food is phenomenal and the prices are spendy as fuck. All true. Yet, we try to go at least a couple times a year, and the food is so effing good that we pry open the ol’ bank account to treat ourselves to one of the best & most interesting menus either of us has ever experienced.

Dawn always takes care of making the resos for us, and sometimes we have them a month or more in advance (worth the wait) and sometimes she’s like, “we got into Neng’s tonight.” And I say, “Awesome.”

I found these pictures on my phone recently, but they are from over two months ago, so the food pictured here may not be on the menu when you go, but I’ve included the prices in the captions, so you’ll know what to expect. The only thing that is pretty much always guaranteed to be available is the seasonal fruit (bottom), which comes with a delicious fish sauce, and is the dish that we always order no matter what. I gave it a ding dang award once! 🏆😂

No matter what’s on the menu when you get there, it’s probably gonna be somewhere tween fantastic and phenomenal. So, obvs, I highly recommend that, if you are able, go ahead and get in virtual line for a reservation to Neng Jr’s and treat yourself to something real special in my opinion.

For sure, I understand 100% that Neng’s is not suited to everyone’s tastes or budgets, but it’s the kind of place that I personally save up for, bite the bullet, brace myself, give it up to the food gods, throw money at, and hope that we fuckin’ love it. So far the gods have not let us down. Thengs, Neng’s!

GITTIN’ NOT FANCY

Got a couple of breakfast tacos at The Med the other day.

The Med is an Asheville institution and I love to sit at the old school counter and soak up the vintage vibes. It’s been open since 1969 and it definitely feels like stepping into the past for me. I was born in 1966 and started eating at diners just like The Med immediately, like day 2, so it really hits a lot of nostalgia buttons for me. Of course I wasn’t eating anything that looked like a taco in 1970s New England, so this was actually a little bit outside of my usual box, but as just one of many methods available for delivering eggs, cheese and bacon to my face, tacos worked! 😂 The Med will always have a place in my heart. Where I also store a bunch of cholesterol.

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Stu Helm: Food Fan is a reader-supported publication. Please subscribe!

Every month, all paid subscribers will be entered into a contest to win a $50 gift certificate from my friends at Twisted Laurel Downtown Ashevillel! If you already subscribe, you’re already entered! If not, simply subscribe to be elligible!

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ASHEVILLE FOOD TOURS

Come experience the rich & varied tastes of Downtown Asheville with Asheville Food Tours, WNC’s only family-run, locally-owned food tour company!

SIGN UP FOR A FOOD TOUR!

A MESSAGE FROM MOWABC

“Students. Retirees. Teachers. Nurses. New neighbors and people who’ve lived here for decades. The people behind a knock on a door look like this community, because they are this community. The one thing they share? The belief that no homebound senior should ever feel forgotten.”

Please give or volunteer to Meals On Wheels Of Asheville & Buncombe County if you are able. Thank you!

DONATE OR VOLUNTEER NOW

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Y’all…

I was watching some shit on YouTube about comedy and I just couldn’t get over how every single comedian that was featured in the video was a complete and total asshole. What is that? I asked Dawn, “So, are all comedians assholes now?” And She said, “Not Tig Notaro.” And I said, “Yeah. Truth.” Thank god for Tig fucking Notaro, Y’all. Now let’s talk about food…

LUNCH JUNKET

Ermgee. Paddy & I had an insanely high-quality and delicious lunch at Asheville Proper the other day.

I got the sesame grilled salmon with coconut rice, toasted miso broth, sesame peanuts, garlic broccoli, and fresh Serrano pepper. Paddy got the charred shrimp with smoked ricotta grits, roasted andouille sausage, red pepper coulis, biscuit crumb, chives, and lemon. My dish was heavenly! The fish was cooked just right, had a slight crispy crust on the outside, was moist and flaky on the inside, and had a wonderful smoky flavor from being grilled on the flames. The rice and the broth were so savory and scrumptious that I literally ate every grain of rice in the bowl! If you heard the sound of scraping echo through the mountains, that was me. The broccoli was cooked just right, hovering in between soft and al dente, and the peppers and peanuts added two different kinds of crunch, one fresh and juicy, and one dry and snacky, both fun and punchy!

Paddy also raved about his dish and ate everything but the scramp tails. We were there at an odd hour, and it wasn’t very busy, so we had an opportunity to thank the chef in person. We both enthused in run-on sentences about how much we loved our lunch! We’ve been talking about it and telling people about it all day ever since. I highly recommend the dish I had, Paddy recommends the one he tried, so if they look & sound good to you, you’d better jump on it, because their lunch menu will change with the seasons, and the seasons are about to change!

HONEY BADGER BAKES

I went to the Asheville City Market on Saturday morning where I met baker Lyndon Johnson from Honey Badger Bakes!

He kind of specializes in bagels, but offers a nice variety of sweet & savory goods. He mostly appears at farmers markets but also does pop-ups and collabs as well. The best way to find him is probably to follow him on social media, which he updates frequently. I only had enough real estate in my stomach for one small item, so chose a fluffy, sweet, delicious donut. It was perfect. I’m looking forward to trying the rest of Chef Lyndon’s stuff! Pay him a visit if you can, and if you’re already a fan, please make a recommendation in the comments for the rest of us!

PRESS RELEASE

The event is still a ways off, but people seem so fucking excited about it when I shared this press release on Facebook, I thought I’d better share it here too...

ASHEVILLE PICKLE FESTIVAL COMES TO TANGER OUTLETS ASHEVILLE THIS JUNE

Asheville, NC – Battle Bros Events is bringing the ultimate pickle celebration to the mountains with the Asheville Pickle Festival, happening Saturday, June 6th, 2026, at Tanger Outlets Asheville (800 Brevard Rd, Asheville, NC 28806).

Running from 12:00 PM to 9:00 PM, this all-day, family-friendly festival will feature pickle-inspired food and drinks, live music, interactive games, a curated craft marketplace, and support for local non-profit, Food Connection.

Guests can enjoy pickle snacks priced at $5 or less, along with a variety of creative pickle-themed menu items $10 or less, giving attendees the chance to sample bold flavors and unique creations without breaking the bank. The event will feature live bands throughout the day, local vendors offering handmade pickle themed goods and specialty items, and interactive attractions including a FREE kid zone, FREE axe throwing, a mechanical pickle, a pickle eating contest, and plenty of other pickle-themed surprises.

Tickets are available online for guests who wish to skip the line and enter through the pre-paid ticket entrance. General admission tickets are $10 per person and kids aged 8 and under receive free entry, making it a festival the whole family can enjoy.

Event Details
Date: Saturday, June 6, 2026
Time: 12:00 PM – 9:00 PM
Location: Tanger Outlets Asheville, 800 Brevard Rd, Asheville, NC 28806
Admission: $10 per person | Kids 8 & under free
Tickets & Info: AshevillePickleFestival.com
The Asheville Pickle Festival promises a full day of food, music, games, and whimsical pickle-themed fun, offering a one-of-a-kind experience for Asheville locals and visitors alike.

ANOTHER PERFECT DAY

One day I paid my friends at Asheville Hemp Farms in the Grove Arcade a visit and then I walked over to Pack Park, and sat next to my buddy Chef Tom and ate some super delicious meatballs and crispy Brussels sprouts at the bar of Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville.

It was a perfect day and I highly recommend all of it. 🙂 Oh yeah, there was also chocolate mousse.🤪

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Speaking of my friends at Twisted Laurel, they have offered to provide me with one $50 gift certificate every month to give away to one of my paid subscribers!

The way it works is simple: All paid subscribers will be entered into a random drawing contest and the winner gets the gift certificate. Easy!

You can subscribe for $5.00 per Month, or only $30.00 pay for the whole year!

That’s 12 chances to win $50, plus a year of my newsletter with access to exclusive content, for just $60 or even better, just $30.

Winners will be announced in the newsletter every month.

ASHEVILLE FOOD TOURS

Come experience the rich & varied tastes of Downtown Asheville with Asheville Food Tours! From Southern / Appalachian comfort foods to Northern Indian… um… comfort foods! LOL. We ❤️ comfort.

Come take a tour with the only family-run, locally-owned food tour company in WNC!

SIGN UP FOR A FOOD TOUR!

A MESSAGE FROM MOWABC

“You might be surprised who we serve. Some homebound seniors are recovering from illness. Some live with disabilities. Some simply need a little support to stay safely in the home they love. What they all have in common is this: a warm meal and a friendly face at the door make all the difference.”

Please give or volunteer to Meals On Wheels Of Asheville & Buncombe County if you are able. Thank you!

DONATE OR VOLUNTEER NOW

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Y’all…

WNC Pizza Week was a blast and between the Launch Party and the Hot Slice Contest, we raised over $1,5000 for Bounty & Soul, Brother Wolf Animal Rescue and of course, Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co. Thanks, everyone, I appreciate you and I’m already looking forward to next year!!

THINGS MAY HAVE GOT A LITTLE CRAZY…

The Hot Slice Contest was fucking wild. Things happened that I don’t even want to write about! LOL. Let’s just say, if you saw flashing red & blue lights in downtown Asheville that night… that might have been us. Not. Even. Kidding. Everyone is fine. Everything is fine.

The room was packed and noisy, with people ordering food and drinks and settling in to watch the 12 celebrity contestants deal with the onslaught of extremely spicy pizza slices heading their way. All 12 lasted until about pie five, then they started dropping out one-by-one until all nine pies had been tasted, and only two hardcore hold-outs were left standing: Caleb Montag from Speakeasy Cannabis Co. and Officer Robert Crume from Asheville Police Department! I mean… I couldn’t have scripted it any better. The sudden-death shoot-out between these two fiercely competitive heat-seeking freaks was intense, with drops of Pepper Palace’s Purgatory “Flat Line” hot sauce being administered via potato chips. By chip three there was a winner!

CONGRATS!
Officer Crume and APD took the win! The toughest of the tough. The hardest of the hardcore. But also the kindest of the kind, as Officer Crume helped us raise over $1,000 for Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co. as well as Officer Crume’s charity of choice, Brother Wolf Animal Rescue!

THANKS!
To all of the contestants: Sarah R, Karim, Rakim, Raj, Sarah M, Allen Brody, Councilperson Ullman, Jeff from the audience, Caleb, Firefighter Alex and of course, Officer Crume! Thanks also to Pepper Palace, Spicewitch, Smoking J’s Fiery Foods, and The Hop Ice Cream and of course, special thanks to my good friends Vince, Chef Tom, Madison & Charlie at Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville, and my bestie Paddy Riels at Asheville Food Tours!

It was a WILD time, Y’all, and we’re already planning for next year. Mark your calendars now for Thursday, February 11th, 2027, and in the meantime be sure to use the amazing WNC Pizza Map to find all the pizza in our part of the state!

Here’s a recommendation for lunch for 2 people.

My mom and I went to Joey’s Bagels up on Merrimon Avenue, where we shared a delicious Rueben, and a bag of chips. The Rueben was hardy, melty, steaming hot, and very delicious. Afterward she treated me to The Hop Ice Cream, where we each had a small sundae. It was just enough food to make us both really full, and very happy! ❤️

NEW(ISH) RESTAURANT

Last week two of my friends from the Asheville Independent Restaurant Association invited me to lunch and I suggested SEN- Vietnamese Street Foods restaurant on Patton Avenue in downtown Asheville right near Jack of the Wood.

This restaurant made a big splash when they first opened, getting a lot of great reviews online from the eaters and the foodies! I had only been in once before, and because of a lack of time I only had eggrolls and Vietnamese coffee, both of which were excellent! On that first visit I had also met one of the owners, he was super-nice, so it was part of my plan to have the owners meet the folks from AIR. And it worked! They met each other! Lol! All three of us ordered the same dish: Bowls of Bún Thịt Nướng or Rice Vermicelli Noodles with grilled marinated protein, fresh lettuce, cucumber, herbs, pickled carrots, daikon and a vinegar-based fish sauce dressing (nước mắm) plus it comes with an egg roll! I got mine with grilled chicken, and it was D-frickin’-lishus! The chicken was grilled perfectly and had a great texture and flavor. The noodles were soft and did not clump together, but stayed nice and silky. The fresh ingredients were exactly that, and they added some crunch and color. The fish sauce was key, they do have a vegetarian version of it, and if they ask you if you would like to try their house made hot chili sauce, say, “yes.” The whole meal was great, including the food, the conversation, and the connections that I saw being made! ❤️❤️❤️ The reason that AIR asked me to lunch is because their annual Taste of Asheville event is coming up, and they want me to let you know about it! They also have another event that they are brainstorming, so that’s exciting, and I’ll keep y’all posted about that as well. The Taste is always my favorite food event every year! Speaking of…

PRESS RELEASE

THIS JUST IN from our good friends at the Asheville Independent Restaurant Association...

The Asheville Independent Restaurant Association (AIR) announced today that tickets for its signature event, the Taste of Asheville, go on sale Thursday, February 19 at noon at airasheville.org.

The 2026 Taste of Asheville takes place on Thursday, March 26, from 6:30–8:30 p.m., with a VIP + Sponsor Hour beginning at 5:30 p.m., in the Mission Health Conference Center on the campus of A-B Tech. The event brings together nearly 60 AIR member restaurants, along with beverage purveyors, for the longest-running and most successful culinary showcase in the region.

TICKETS

MEALS ON WHEELS

🐾 Hi, I’m Ruckus and I love warm laps. 🐶 My human gets visits from the nice people at Meals on Wheels, and today I made sure to show them my sweater.

VOLUNTEER & DONATE TO MEALS ON WHEELS

ASHEVILLE FOOD TOURS

Book a private food tour with your friends and/or family, or jump on one of our daily tours to meet some new folks and have a great time either way!

Asheville Food Tours is the only family-run, locally-owned food tour company in WNC and the guides are me, Sarah, and Paddy and we are awesome!

SIGN UP FOR A FOOD TOUR!

— end —

Without The Use Of AI

This post may contain swears, as well as exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

As I write this, it’s day 2 of WNC PIZZA WEEK… can’t talk… busy…

GETTIN’ HIGH EATIN’ PIE

One of these two people (below) created the most stonerrific pizza in the history of the world just for WNC PIZZA WEEK and the other person got all blazed up and ate the fuckin’ shit out of it. I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which person did which thing.

PIZZA: “Twisted Hippy” plum tomato sauce, mozzarella, chicken fingers, tater tots, mozzarella sticks, honey mustard, ketchup, and fresh parsley.

PIZZA MAKER: My good friend Chef Tom at Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville

Only avaibs this week, Y’all! It was fuckin awesome.

You can see and read more about this pizza and others, including ordering info, on the official WNC Pizza Week webpage.

PIZZA WEEK WEBPAGE

HOT SLICES! GET YOUR HOT SLICES HERE!

This Thursday, February 12th from 5pm — 7pm, at Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville, Twelve Celebrity Contestants will torture themselves for the entertainment of others… and charity…

The way it’s gonna work: 12 Contestants will eat 8 increasingly spicy hot slices of pizza created by evil genius, Chef Tom LaFauci. The spice-levels on the pizza go from “ho-oh-oh-ly shit that’s hot,” to “I’ve left my body,” to “Time is moving really really really slowly and I think I might be dead.” The audience will have a chance to purchase raffle tickets and use them to “place bets” on the contestant(s) they’d like to see win the contest! Contestants will tap out 1-by-1 as they can’t take the heat, until there’s only one left standing. The winnings will be shared 50/50 between Meals on Wheels & the charity of the winner’s choice.

For the first four pies, Chef Tom is partnering with Spice Witch and Smoking J’s Fiery Foods to make them progressively hotter, but super tasty pies. For the final 4 pies... the eliminator pies... Chef is using some insane sauces from Pepper Palace that should really start to winnow the contestants down. In the event that more than one contestant makes it through all 8 pies, there will be a “shoot out,” using that wee little white bottle of fear and regrets that’s literally just called “The End.” So... yeah... things are gonna get kinda crazy kinda quickly. See you there! 🔥🍕

Hot Slice Celebrity Contestants

Sarah the WAXlorette – Representing the Campaign For Southern Equality
Allen Brody from Urban Combat Wresting – Representing BeLoved Asheville
Firefighter Alex Phelps from Asheville Fire Department – Representing 12 Baskets
Officer Robert Crume from Asheville Police Department – Representing Brother Wolf
Asheville City Councilperson Maggie Ullman – Representing Riverlink
Chef Rakim Gaines from Capella on 9 – Representing Hood Huggers
Rajdeep Manaise from Mëhfil Indian Restaurant – Representing Food Connection
Activist Karim Olaechea – Representing MountainTrue
Caleb Montag from Carolina Cannabis Coalition – Representing BridgeMeals
Nikki Harris from Meals On Wheels – Representing Meals on Wheels
Fruitcake Sarah from Asheville Food Tours – Representing Linked 4 Life
YOU?!? We’re saving one “Challenger’s Chair” at the contestants’ table for a random masochist… I mean volunteer… in the crowd! So if you think you can hang, just show up and throw your hat in the ring. The Challenger will be selected by committee and will be representing MANNA Foodbank.

NOT PIZZA

These pictures don’t do this food any justice, but Dawn and I had a fantastic little snack/meal at Crusco down in the river arts district the other night.

We were out at an art show, we ate a few snacks there, and we also had some stuff at home to eat later, but we weren’t ready to go home yet, so we went to Crusco on a whim. We were able to get a cozy table, our server was a familiar face that we hadn’t seen in years, so that was really nice, and we ordered two dishes that were both very delicious! This is only our second time to Crusco, but we commented to each other how comfortable we feel there since we were fans of both The Junction and Vivian, two excellent restaurants that occupied that space in the past. Crusco is right in keeping with that same level of excellence.

We ordered the wilted greens with braised peanuts and toasted rice. As well as the stuffed and roasted boneless chicken thigh with celery root and mushrooms. They were great. Both dishes. Super delish. Like, yeah. Five star. I recommend this restaurant for date night, special occasions, or in this case just a nice sophisticated little bite before going home for the evening!

Crusco | 348 Depot Street | 828-505-7060

ASHEVILLE FOOD TOURS

Food tours are fun! And it’s not as cold as it has been, so book a food tour with your friends now, before a buh-jillion tourists show up in the Springtime!

Asheville Food Tours is the only family-run, locally-owned food tour company in WNC and the guides are me, Sarah, and Paddy and we are awesome!

SIGN UP FOR A FOOD TOUR!

WHAAAT?

I had lunch with Councilperson Antanette Mosley the other day! We’re friends, and we both love food, but we also met-up because she’s running for re-election, and her campaign reached out to me. They know that I talk to a lot of people, so I think they wanted me to know what she’s been up to lately.

We met at Modesto Asheville, where Chef Hector has recently rolled out one of his famous “Everything is $15” menus. Eff yes. I got the bolognese, which is some of the best I’ve ever had, and I ate until I was stuffed. It’s made with lamb, pork and beef, and is very deep and dank. The Councilperson got seared scallops, with risotto and although I didn’t try any, she seemed to love it. So, I recommend the bolognese as always, and I think I can safely say that the Councilperson would recommend the scallops. We also got some oysters. They were perfect. And that was lunch! Modesto always nails it. There’s more about our conversation below if you’re interested in some of the issues that face us here in WNC. If you’re not interested, stop here.

Antanette has been in the news recently because someone challenged her residencial status, so she went before a hearing committee who ruled unanimously in her favor. She lives here, it’s official! 🙂 She grew up here, and her family goes back generations in Asheville. She moved away, she came back, she lives here now. I was glad the hearing cleared that up for anyone who was confused.

I already know that Antanette cares a lot about our city, but what I didn’t know is that she won a seat on council that was formerly held by a resident of South Asheville, so she pays special attention to the needs of South Asheville, by attending neighborhood meetings and talking to those residents directly. FYI - She told me that the concerns she hears about from people in person differ from the discourse online. Surprise surprise surprise.

The main concerns she hears about from people are: Housing & Development.

Within those two subjects lies the topic of Displacement, which mostly affects what are termed “legacy neighborhoods,” where the residents are homeowners who have lived there for a long time, sometimes generations. These same neighborhoods, for various reasons, including allocation of Federal funding, are often targeted for development.

Problems can arise -- and this is the case in my own neighborhood of South French Broad Avenue -- when all or some of the homeowners in the legacy neighborhoods are retired and living on fixed incomes. They are already facing increasing costs, with food prices going up, health care skyrocketing, and severe cuts in Federal government services, so the impact of development in their neighborhoods needs to be done carefully and with those residents in mind. This, of course, slows down the process of development.

Apparently there’s plenty of money already available, but it can’t -- and shouldn’t -- be spent until these issues concerning our older neighbors in legacy neighborhoods can be worked out. Antanette is working on it, and she is a strong proponent of “development without displacement.”

Speaking of money... The Councilperson told me that there’s a *lot* of money... “Billions with a “B” to quote her directly... heading our way from various sources. And maybe not coincidentally, there’s also a *lot* of people running for City Council this time around -- 20 by the last count.

Figuring out how and where to spend that money is going to be the topic of discussion for years. I think we want to be very careful when it comes to who we vote for, especially in relation to development vs displacement, and continued hurricane recovery.

There are some short informative profiles of all 20 candidates in this article by Sarah Honosky for the Citizen Times .

I have more than one friend among the folks running for office this year, and most of the other candidates that I don’t know personally look pretty good too, so I’m gonna read-up more on all of them, and when it comes election day, I know it’s going to be a very tough choice for me, and I would guess for most people in Asheville.

Anyhoo, lunch was delicious, Antanette is great, and our city is one of the best little cities in the whole wide world! Let’s elect people who will help us grow, but keep it forever-awesome for people who already live here!

— end —

This post may contain swears, as well as exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

This world and this country are a fucking mess. Let’s not pretend otherwise. I have personally never been less certain of the future than I am right now. And I grew up in the “we’re all gonna die any minute now in a nuclear armageddon” days! Seems almost quaint… and still a possibility BTW. Anyhoo, in between wondering if I’m gonna have to fight an armed conflict in the streets against my own government, or if global warming is gonna kill us all slowly or quickly, I have been thinking about pizza. Week. Pizza Week. It’s next week…

PIZZA WEEK!

Monday Feb 9th - Sunday Feb 15th

• The WNC Pizza Map has been updated! It features ALL of the pizza makers I could find in Western North Carolina, (except for trucks, which Google won’t allow me to add to the map unless they have a permanent address). You can check to see if your fave neighborhood pizza place is on the map, and if not, please let me know in the comments below, and I’ll add them!

WNC PIZZA MAP

• The Official WNC Pizza Week Webpage is live and being updated regularly. Pictures of the pizzas and ordering info will be added on Feb 9th. Book mark it now!

OFFICIAL WNC PIZZA WEEK WEBPAGE

• TWO EVENTS! Pizza Week lasts all week, but to kick things off there’s a launch party on Monday Feb 9th, from 5pm - 9pm at Soprana Rooftop Cucina on the 7th Floor of the Embassy Suites Hotel…

…AND there’s a Hot Slice Contest at Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville on Thursday Feb 12th!

There’s a ton of pizza available all over Western North Carolina. Below is just a small sample. I’ll be posting many many many more pictures of pizza on Facebook in the next buncha days, as we approach and power through WNC Pizza Week together, so I hope you like pizza, Y’all! LOL I’ll try to throw a picture of a taco or two in the mix when I can.

• If you’re a pizza maker in WNC, you’re probably already on the map, and there’s still a couple days left to sign up to be on the official webpage. Just fill out THE FORM if interested.

FILL OUT THE PIZZA MAKER FORM

GREAT MINDS THINK OF CAKE

Psychic happenings at Asheville’s oldest cafe? 🤔

CASE FILE #23-B: When I asked my companions if they would like to share a confection with me from the case at Old Europe Pastries they said, “Yes,” and when I asked them which treat they wanted they said, “you choose,” and when I chose the strawberry mousse cake, they told me that’s what they were hoping I’d pick. Coincidence? Or proof that ESP is real??? This cake was truly phenomenal.
[cue theremin]

DINING OUT FOR LIFE

On Thursday, April 30th, 2026 the Western North Carolina AIDS Project (WNCAP) will hold their annual Dining Out For Life event! Dining Out For Life encourages residents of Asheville and Western North Carolina to eat out at Participating Restaurants in order to raise money for HIV care and prevention in our region.

Dining Out For Life is a celebration that supports both the local participating restaurants, and the lives of those living and thriving with HIV while raising money for WNCAP’s life-saving services.

Severe cutbacks in funding for AIDS & HIV research mean that the money raised by WNCAP’s annual Dining Out for Life is more critical than ever.

So, please add it to your calendars: Thursday, April 30th, and get ready to go out to eat for a great cause! You can learn more, see the participating restaurants, and sign up to as a restaurant or a volunteer by going HERE.

VOLUNTEER FOR WNCAP

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This post may contain swears, as well as exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

I hope you’re staying warm during this cold snap, or staying cool while folks crank their heat way up, so that when you come inside and you’re all bundled up with, like, 5 layers of clothing, plus a hat, scarf and gloves, and it feels like it’s suddenly 5 million degrees, and you’re suffocating, but you’re also grateful, because the “real feel” outside is, like, 9 fuckin’ degrees, but now you have to disrobe and discard the perfect number of layers, while being careful not to expose parts of your body in the process that were never meant to be seen by friends or strangers, and then your hair has the craziest static-cling-meets-hat-head thing going on, so you opt to keep your hat on, but immediately have 2nd thoughts as a bead of sweat runs down your temple and you know that the second you leave the restaurant any and all sweat on your body will instantly freeze into an ice cold glaze of pure Hell & total bullshit that will completely and utterly negate alllll the goodwarmcozies that you built-up inside the restaurant, and believe it or not, I actually love it, but if it’s gonna be this cold, a little snow might be nice. That’s all I’m sayin’. Here’s the rest of my newsletter...

Tacos. Tacos Tacos.

I frickin’ love tacos, and these three tacos from Mamacita’s Taqueria on Biltmore Ave in downtown Asheville were huge and tasty AF and really hit the spot, and they kinda saved the day.

After work last week I walked home on a super cold night, and was all cozy in my house, when I realized that I forgot something, so I had to bundle up and hoof it all the way back downtown. “No worries”, I told myself, “I hunger, so I shall find food to feed the beast.” Wellllll by then it was getting late, and venues were closing left and right, and I was starting to bum out big time, until I noticed that Mamacitas was all lit up, and seemingly open for business! I went in, was the first last and only person in line, and before I knew it, I was walking back home with 3 enormous tacos in a bag. One chicken, one beef, one pork. All with the same set-up of my choosing: Cheese, lettuce, cilantro, jalapeños, and chipotle salsa. Oh hell yes. By the time I got back home, got cozy again, and got my belly full of tacos I was one very happy and satisfied little old man. They were super flavorful and filling and they accomplished everything I needed them to at the time. Perfect!!! PS - Ain’t no way they were ever gonna be pretty, so the pics are just for documentation. These tacos existed. And they were great! If you haven’t been to Mamacita’s in a while, I recommend a visit soon. It’s an old school Asheville classic that’s just as good now as it’s ever been. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Open until 9pm Sun-Thurs, 10pm Fri & Sat.

A KING AMONG MEN

Paddy, Sarah, Jennifer (not pictured) and I went on our first official Asheville Food Tours lunch junket of 2026, and we returned to an old favorite of ours, and a big favorite of the people of Asheville! I’m talking about La Rumba Restaurant Latino, owned and operated by Reynaldo Macario, and located in the River Hills Shopping Center off Tunnel Rd. First of all, it was awesome to see Rey! He is a king among men! Get it? Because his name is Rey? 🙂 And also because he rules! 👑

He was very excited to see us and show off his much expanded menus, including a pretty big vegan menu that he developed specifically because he loves his vegan clientele! It was great catching up with him, and so nice to know that he and his staff and their wonderful restaurant survived Helene, continue to thrive, and they are going stronger than ever! The food of course was awesome! I had street corn, chipotle crema chicken, some fried yucca, and a maniform of grilled nopales. The pictures I took of the food weren’t great, but you can see them all HERE, especially if you’re dying to know WTF a “maniform of grilled nopales” is.

My only regret is that I didn’t order a side of rice, because the sauce with my chicken would have gone perfectly with rice, but make no mistake, I managed to get just about every molecule of that sauce into my body, even without the vehicle of rice to assist me. Those three pieces of Yucca did a lot of fuckin’ work! 😂 Anyhoo, it was a super fun and excellent adventure, and I can’t wait to go back again, I’m hoping to bring my whole family next time! Thank you, Rey, for being a great guy, who runs a great restaurant! Highly recommended. ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

STUFFIN’ ANOTHER CRUFFIN IN MY GUFFIN

Y’all... this pistachio cream cruffin… I die now…*

It’s made by Back Porch Baking Co. and I got it, along with a cappuccino, at Pollen cafe on South French Broad Ave. It was sweet, creamy, flakey, moist, layer-y and so frickin’ decadent that you would never guess that it’s... (suspenseful music) ...Vegan! All of Chef Hayette Bouras’ incredible sweets and treats are Vegan, and they are awesome and among my favorite pastries ever! So, pop into Pollen on your own if you can to try one for yourself, or ask for them at your favorite local cafe! If they don’t carry Chef Hayette’s amazing baked goods, maybe they’ll start!

PS - I’m not Vegan. This thing could be made out of animals, vegetables, minerals… space gas, dark matter… kryptonite. Don’t care. Get it in me.

The Eaters Know…

“We had their pastries at The Smokin’ Onion! That vanilla custard cronut thing is sofa king tasty!!” - Scott A.

“We’re SO addicted to Back Porch Cruffins in my house. We get them at Battlecat on Tunnel. I had no idea the amazing Hayette Bouras was behind them.” - Devorah E.H.

“Oh boy, I’ve had that Cruffin at All is Well and Daymoon....such a great pastry and that center 😱yummy” - April A.V.

*PPS - ”I die now” is just shorthand for “this experience was so amazing, I could die right now, and that would be fine. A life well lived… because I ate this cruffin. And other stuff too, but also this cruffin.”

UMLAUTS FOR THE ELDERLY

You’ve only got until the end of January to get you hands and mouth around the monster breakfast sando that we’re calling a “Cröiaffle Insanitywich,” (pronounced “kwah-full”) from BRÜ AVL and support Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe.

It’s made by pressing two uncooked croissants in a waffle iron until they become the world’s best Belgian waffles aka “croiaffles.”

The insanity part comes when we added an umlaut and used the cröiaffles to build an epic breakfast sandwich with 2 very savory and satisfying Terramonga farms fennel sausage patties, a 2 egg & spinach omelet w/ Kari Kari chili crunch and BRÜ’s own Hollandaise sauce & signature cheese blend. Then they top it with a wildflower honey drizzle.

It’s a little insane. And by “a little,” I mean a lot.

If you can get one, please go get one and help support a vital charity! If you can’t get one, but are able to make a donation or volunteer, please do that!

Donate and/or Volunteer

And to stay informed about more “Umlauts for the Elderly” specials at Brü happening thrü-out the year, you can follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Substack! ❤️

WNC PIZZA WEEK 2026

It’s back! WNC Pizza Week 2026 is happening from Monday, Feb 9th - Sunday, Feb 15th!

There are two events on the books, so be sure to mark your calendars for the Launch Party at Soprana Rooftop Cucina on Monday Feb 9th and the Hot Slice Contest at Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville on Feb 12th.

If you’re a pizza maker and you want to participate, there’s a form and more info HERE.

If you’re a pizza fan, bookmark THIS PAGE and check it on Feb 9th to see who’s participating and what kind of special pies they’re offering, but most of all get ready to eat pizza!

— end —

This post may contain swears, as well as exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

I hope that you’re warm and cozy and have plenty of provisions this weekend. Sorry it’s been a little bit since my last Substack. Dawn, and my sister and I went on a little trip way up North to Sault Ste Marie, MI, with a bit of a side trip over the Friendship Bridge to Soo, Canada. It was beautiful and snowy! And when I say “snowy,” I mean snowy!

A TALE OF TWO SOOS

Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan aka The Soo, is a real small town, with real small town vibes to it. Dawn and I try to get up there to spend time with our family as often as we can, which amounts to a couple of times a year. It’s pretty far away, and fairly isolated. This time, we had to fly from Asheville to Atlanta to Detroit to the teeny tiny Sault Ste. Marie airport, which we think might be the only airport in America with a sign at TSA reminding you to put your fudge in checked bags only. No fudge in your carry-ons, People! Anyhoo, when we’re up there, I always look forward to the food that my in-laws cook for us, and also a few favorite restaurants including Frank’s Place.

No trip to Soo, Michigan would be complete without at least one visit to Frank’s Place. This old school diner style restaurant is timeless, and appeals to me on a nostalgic level as much as for the homey food and friendly service. I got two eggs over easy with corned beef hash, hash browns, and a side of fresh tomatoes. Except for a few forkfuls of the hash browns that I left behind for Jenny Craig, I crushed this plate of food and was very full and satisfied. Dawn got scrambled eggs, toast, and the bluest blueberry oatmeal I’ve ever seen. She said it was great.

My sister and mom-in-law got some stuff that I didn’t take pictures of, but that they both enjoyed very much. Thanks, Frank’s! Highly recommended for anyone staying or living in The Soo.

PS - It kinda kills me that Frank’s is still calling their French fries “American Fries,” but as someone pointed out, at least they’re not called “Freedom Fries!”

MEALWHILE, UP IN SOO, CANADA…

Just on the other side of the Ste Marie river is the city of Sault Ste Marie, Ontario Canada. It’s bigger than Soo, Michigan, but it’s not large by most standards. Just big enough to have a couple of fancy restaurants, and we visited one of them after… I’m not joking… a snow-shoeing adventure!

Whenever we’re in Soo, Michigan, we like to hop in the car and drive over the Friendship Bridge, to literally visit friends in Soo, Ontario, Canada. Friendly Reminder re: The Friendship Bridge: It’s called that because we’re friends with Canada, Y’all. We like them. And Dawn & I particularly like two awesome Canadian friends that we are lucky enough to know, named Brad & Amanda who own a company up there called Thrive Tours! They took us on a once-in-a-lifetime adventure on snow shoes through the (very snowy!) woods, where Brad told us a bunch of cool stuff about the woods and taught us a little bit about his own indigenous culture as well as that of the other First Nation folks in the area. After a while we stopped in a gazebo, where they built a fire. Amanda helped us all stay warm and cook up some food on skewers, after which Brad beat out a rhythm on a small drum and sang us a traditional song, and then we snowshoed back to the cars, drove back into the city, and went to a super-fancy restaurant called Ernie’s Coffee Shop, where we had a super-fancy meal! It was kinda sorta exactly a perfect day in Soo, Canada!

PS - The food at Ernie’s was awesome, but the lights were very low, so the picture of salami above was pretty much the best one I took that night. The salami came with bread, pickles and olives, plus we got chicken saltimbocca, steak frittes, Caesar salad, pappardelle, and squash with burrata, plus Basque style cheese cake and ice cream for dessert. All great! Highly recommended.

Thanks, Ernie’s! And thanks again, BradManda! You rule. 🙏❤️

ICE OUT

On Saturday morning, January 24, 2026 as I was writing this newsletter and prepping for a predicted ice storm here in Asheville, a man named Alex Pretti was murdered by government agents in the streets of Minneapolis. Later in the day, Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey asked MN Governor Tim Walz to activate the National Guard, and he did. Y’all, I know this is just a little ol’ newsletter about food, but Alex Pretti was a nurse, and my sister is a nurse, and nurses are the best people.

Alex Pretti wasn’t the first person killed by DHS / ICE, and I’m afraid that if things don’t change drastically and rapidly right now, he won’t be that last.

Please call your representatives relentlessly. You can tell them that you’re an American, a voter, and a constituent, remind them that they are supposed to be representing the people of their district, and tell them to stand up for justice, truth and accountability in America again. Tell them that the lies, the gaslighting, the crimes, the grift, and the straight-up kidnap and murder of people in the streets of our cities needs to stop immediately. Like, now.

Here in Western North Carolina, you can call Chuck Edwards (pictured below making s’mores while the country burns around him) at (202) 225-6401 and Senator Tom Tillis at (202) 224-6342.

Chuck already knows that he’s doomed to lose his race in 2026, and Tom’s on his way out the door, so maybe one or both of them will grow a conscious and/or a spine, stand up for what’s right, and fucking condemn what’s very obviously wrong to anyone who’s not insane or corrupt.

ANYHOO… FUN

Hey, Friendos, here in Western North Carolina, we’ve been through some shit, what with COVID, Helene, prolonged economic hard times, and the increasingly stressful nature of life here in America, but I strongly believe that in order to stay sane, we still need to have fun if and when we can along way, so here’s something fun…

🍕📌WNC PIZZA WEEK 2026 📌SAVE THE DATES: FEB 9 - FEB 15 📌🍕

Feb 9th is National Pizza Day and it will be the kick-off to a week of celebrating pizza in all over Western North Carolina!

Check the official WNC PIZZA WEEK web page to keep posted about the participants, their specials, events and what not! But most of all... get ready to eat pizza!

There are two events already on the books! Be sure to mark your calendars for the Launch Party at Soprana Rooftop Cucina on Monday Feb 9th and the Hot Slice Contest at Twisted Laurel Downtown Asheville on Feb 12th.

PS - If you’re a pizza maker and you want to participate, there’s still time! You’ll find a form and more info HERE.

— end —

This post may contain swears, as well as exclusive content for paid subscribers.

Y’all…

I hope your 2026 is off to a great start so far! I totally forgot to ask you in my last Substack: What are your plans for the coming year? What are your goals? Dreams? Delusions? You don’t have to answer, but if you want to, I would genuinely like to know!

Leave a comment

I have a few different goals this year, and they include but are not limited to: Going to West Asheville more often, trying at least one new restaurant per month, and removing toxicity from my life, as well as acting in a way that is non-toxic to others.

WITH THAT IN MIND

You might have seen or heard that I recently stepped away from my position as 1 of 4 admins for the massive (120K+ members) Asheville Foodies Facebook group.

When I look back at the time that I spent as an admin for that group, I can honestly say that the only part I enjoyed was the camaraderie that I felt with the other 3 admins. We worked hard, for free, to keep that group as clean and enjoyable as possible, but the members constantly behaved atrociously, and then blamed the admins for everything that other members said and did, and threw their verbal feces at us for simply trying to enforce the rules. It was exhausting, and it turned into a toxic environment for me, 100%. Dipping out when I did brought me instant relief.

I’ll tell you what, if you’re trapped as an admin — or even just a member — of a toxic online community that saps your time and energy, but brings you zero amounts of actual fucking joy, I would encourage you to quit immediately, and if it’s your call, delete the group entirely. Just drive a stake in the heart of that psychic vampire. It’ll feel fucking great.

FIRST OF THE YEAR!

My very first Latte in 2026 was from Old Europe Pastries, of course.

If you’re a fan of Dynamite Roasting Company coffee and super-smooth espresso drinks, as well as top notch pastries and baked goods, Old Europe is your jam. It’s the oldest cafe in downtown Asheville and is owned by Chef Melinda Vetro, who is a local powerhouse. I noticed that there are major renovations happening on the second floor of her building, so I’m real curious to see what she’s going to do up there! ❤️

NEW RESTAURANT!

I had been seeing all the rave reviews of the brand new SEN- Vietnamese Street Foods restaurant located on Patton Avenue in downtown Asheville, right near Jack of the Wood, where Sonora was, and I finally had a chance to pop in very briefly right before a food tour.

I sat at the counter, and the service was super friendly and prompt. I only had time to eat a couple of their hand-made egg rolls and try the Vietnamese coffee, and both were excellent! The iced coffee was strong, flavorful, sweet, and super enjoyable. The egg rolls came out very quickly and were really crispy, tasty, and piping hot! The kitchen is open, and I noticed that they keep their deep fryer sort of locked and loaded with a bunch of egg rolls ready to drop! I love that.

The dining room was starting to fill up and get busy, so I didn’t have a chance to talk to anyone at length, but I’m looking forward to going back to this family owned and operated restaurant to enjoy the rest of their limited menu and get to know them a little bit! So far, I can recommend the egg rolls and the Vietnamese coffee, and I’m looking forward to being able to recommend more soon! I heard that the menu will expand over time, so I’m excited about that.

UMLAUTS FOR THE ELDERLY

Y’all, every month in 2026, my friends at BRÜ AVL and I will be inventing a crazy and delicious new dish or sandwich, then featuring it on their specials menu for the rest of the month, and donating a portion of the sales to Meals on Wheels of Asheville & Buncombe Co.

This month, Chefs Shawn and Justin created this beast together, while I “consulted” by nodding my head and saying things like, “that sounds awesome!”

This monster is called a “Cröiaffle Insanitywich,” because it’s made by pressing two uncooked croissants in a waffle iron until they become the world’s best Belgian waffles aka “croiaffles.”

The insanity part comes when we added an umlaut to the cröiaffles and used them build a sandwich with 2 very savory and satisfying Terramonga Local Provisions and Deli fennel sausage patties, a 2 egg & spinach omelet w/ Kari Kari chili crunch and BRÜ’s own Hollandaise sauce and signature cheese blend. Then they top it with a wildflower honey drizzle.

It’s nuts.

The pictures above don’t even begin to convey how insane in the membrane this thing is. When I asked Justin for a knife so that I could cut it in half, and get a picture of the cross section, he handed me one and said, “Best of luck to you.” LOL

The “gah” factor of this behemoth is through the roof, it’s truly insanely delicious, and of course, for every one that sells, a donation will be made to a very worthy cause!

If you can get one, please go get one! If you can’t, but are able to make a donation or volunteer, please do that!

Donate or Volunteer Now!

To stay informed about upcoming “Umlauts for the Elderly” specials at Brü that will be happening thrü-out the year, you can follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Substack, and if you haven’t already, please read “MY 2025,” the year in review on StuHelmFoodFan.com!

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